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Are You In This Toxic Cycle Of Relationship Failure Without Knowing?

By June 7, 2018 July 10th, 2018 Channeling, Love & Relationships

I’ve discovered a tragic cycle in intimacy:

WOMAN routinely lets man know he’s “not enough” (doesn’t feel enough; not emotional enough; not expressive enough; often combined with he can’t get it/do it right).

Having no idea how to please her, he gives up, shrinks his hobbled feelings even more until he shuts down altogether. Relationship over.

On the flip side …

MAN often tells woman she’s “too much” (too expressive, too emotional, too unpredictable, too whatever …) so she learns to shrink herself hoping that will make him love her, until eventually, tragically, she also becomes “not enough” (for him OR herself).

Relationship over.

Here’s an idea to end the insanity:

WOMAN, give the man space to feel however he feels (or doesn’t feel). Don’t blame, separate from him or threaten to leave him because you’re frustrated he doesn’t know how to touch his feelings or be honest in ways he is in denial with. He’s been taught since he was a boy not to touch those things be honest in ways that are vulnerable, except of course with the little pole between his legs.

I know it’s hard for you when he doesn’t feel like you feel, but feeling and embodying is your feminine mastery, not his. It’s up to dear feminine to BE your word and align your actions to your feelings. It’s up to you to embody and live it by example. Of course he’s capable, it just ain’t his primary nature and he’s not as practiced at intuitive feeling as you.

But you can lead the way for him into discovery of his own feelings, NOT by admonishing him for not being as “good at feeling” as you might be, but by honoring your own feelings fully, offering them to the relationship honestly WHILE also reassuring him repeatedly that he’s fully free to feel whatever he feels, too (or doesn’t feel) and you own it by showing him safe space to be just as he is.

MAN, stop telling her she’s too much for you (or the world). … Yes, I know she often is too much for your more still nature. She knows she often is, too. But do your best to love her as she colors your relationship with all the expressive flavors of her wild heart. That’s what magnetized you to her in the first place. Don’t tell her to squash it now that she’s in your presence all the time! Don’t make her more masculine like you! She’s isn’t your therapist, your roommate or your buddy. She’s your woman!!

Let her decorate your life with whatever sparkly, capricious, multi dimensional ways that delight her. And reassure her that you love the unending mystery of her, even when it frustrates the hell out of you … because if you’re loving her right, she WILL frustrate your mind right INTO HEAVEN!

In the end, I believe the best any of us can ever hope for is a partner who’s simply willing to keep showing up, who’s willing to learn how to do this wild dance of opposites with at least a little more grace and tenderness and flow and laughter and love than we experienced yesterday.

This could also be interpreted as the masculine and feminine inside each of us, man or woman.

What do we need to full accept in ourselves just as we fully are and honor this while staying embodied in feeling, in truth, in soul even when faced with doubt, deception or untruth? Yes you can love every infinite fractal of you.

And the other side, how can we feel already whole, good enough and stop victimizing and blaming others for our inner wounds. Can we stay authentic to our soul even when bringing our shadow or falsehood into the light? Yes you can express yourself, get your needs met and be stronger than ever from inside resiliency outward.

Can we be enough, worthy and trust our soul whether we feel too much or not enough?

Yes YOU CAN.

Doesn’t that feel amazing? ॐ Trust your soul and know you are worthy just as you are.

RemembHER 🔥 HIM …

Already whole inside you.

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana

Hi, my name is Crystal. Since an early age, I've felt a strange connection to the Universe, so I spent my entire life seeking out mentors and teachers to help me harness my gift. Since then, I've been reading tarot cards, channeling messages and healing bodies around the world. Thank you for visiting my website and I hope to join you along your journey <3

7 Comments

  • Nkamoheleng says:

    Its like i have been blind and now my eyes are opened
    Thank you

  • Kavitha.m says:

    Really true.Being quiet is not she is victim but it is her patience to move in this world and her family.She is always stood to be calm for maintaining every relationship.Because she cares and love from heart not by mind. She is true humanitarian according to the god’s wish.She is giver not receiver like treasure. Atleast try to respect her and her feeling. If you don’t like to respect her it’s ok but don’t pain her.

  • Non says:

    I will start my life with my power. In a way that I am convinced.

  • Debra Sager says:

    No just fight all the time

    • I got used. And dumped

      • anna lahi says:

        I too feel USED.. OMG. unforturnately what does one do when they are still emotionally attached..

        • Wandakate says:

          anna lahi…I think we suffer. I think our being emotionally attached just really hurts us down deep. I don’t think us women get over it as quickly as the guys/men do. I think we need to stop playing games and playing with one another’s emotions. Enough is enough. Games are childish and the pain is real. I am Aquarius and am trying to stay connected with a Virgo man who is working overseas at the present. I want to e-mail everyday, he will e-mail and tell me wonderful things and then I won’t hear from him for 3-4-5 days or more. That just happened (5 days without a word) and all the sudden this morning an e-mail asking me for my phone number (he had it back in April but guess he lost it). Anyway I sent it to him and yet all day today I got NO text message. So to me that’s crazy. Why did he ask for my phone number (knowing that he could txt me) and then go all day long and not text? I think that sometimes men in general just don’t make any sense or have their act together. SO I am relating to what you said What does one do when they are still emotionally attached. Join the club honey, I’m in the same boat. I have not yet met this man in person. We met back in April on a dating site and starting communicating, send each other pics. etc. but I won’t meet him until he returns to the USA from overseas (hopefully). In the meantime I want to see him and am already having feelings for him, so I am basically just in waiting until we can get together and we may never. Men play games, so I don’t know anything for sure until I see it.
          Keep you head together b/c I know it can be depressing… Wandakate in N.C.

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