“That which you call death is only a new birth”
Wow loves, what a new moon.
I’ll vulnerably say that this “karmic closing, new beginning, 6 month marking” moon energy wiped me out a bit!
The energy is bringing up all the ancient, karmic ways in my being that feels separate from the whole.
We’re all shedding the layers of separation, trauma, pain, ego and fear as all our dark shadows are being brought to light.
Along with all the karmic clearing going on, this past week felt like a shockwave hit earth’s magnetic field, which is causing a major soul shift for everyone in some way…even more than the past few weeks.
Truly even in the midst of shadow, this is such a magical time in the same wave…
I feel those who try to change the world will not succeed, however those who change WITHIN, will be given the WHOLE world.
I feel so much new energy coming in: new ideas, new values, new understandings, new clarity, new partnerships and bigger vision …
It’s very high —then low “rapid pace energy” where listening to my own energy, voice, being responsible for and taking care of myself first before giving to others is becoming so very obvious.
So forgive me for taking a rest, yet I felt this in itself, is a message.
In order to heal our core wounds, our self talk, anger and allow unworthiness to be resolved with respect, dignity and love we must express and fully live in our own truth and balance our inner world.
We must begin to listen on a deeper way. It’s time to go within.
This is assisting us to heal the dark mother wound inside us that taught us to shame, run and hide. But, instead of fighting her with more fire, we instead honor our deeper truth with tender, gentle connection and empowerment.
Yes, being gentle where we shame ourselves for our mistakes, lack of control, disempowerment, grief, guilt, pain, and the discomfort of our deep-rooted ‘shutdownness’ where, at a tender age, we dimmed our light in order to not be unliked or ‘too much for’ others.
Healing the wounded feminine within is where we stop manipulating, hiding or running for the “idea of love” and we simply ARE love, we receive love—we live our own love and we freely exist as love; we value ourselves and embody love from the roots up, inside out.
So I got the message “the moment you realize your own inner worth and shift from within, everything outside you changes”….
And with so much information and words spinning the air, I knew I had to get out of my head.
I realized it was more important yesterday to be true to my own process and GO WITHIN and share it later, then be “on time” for an update.
Authenticity requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity and this is the key to us stepping up into a higher vibration, all the way.
There’s no fixed path of enlightenment as being awake is not a goal or resting place at the end of a journey—that’s only your minds version of being awake.
All enlightenment is, is simply lighting up wherever you are, just as you are. This is where you open up behind duality and the limitations of your present.
Keep in mind that deep connections, epiphanies and new insights happen within states of rest, not alertness.
I feel like knowing your own worth, and not knowing it, and living it all, sharing your process openly —even when it’s difficult, is the deepest medicine there is.
So here I am choosing explorations over expectations, not beating myself up, not “separating the higher and lower” (as the higher self isn’t the answer and the lower self isn’t the enemy — as it’s where the two fuse and meet) as all this is showing up.
I feel the more I let go of expectation, the more freedom I have to play and find what IS true for me and in alignment with my inner divinity.
This helps me access what’s outside of the dualistic fear based frequencies — and access what’s outside the voices of others as I step into my own multi-dimensional heart space.
This is the energy of leading you back HOME to yourself as WE are the light we’ve been waiting for!
Because everything you want is already yours — on the other side of shaming, blaming, running, chasing and fixing.
It’s where you exist already whole and alchemize the high and low, accepting and embracing all of you…
This is where life arranges itself “on the outside” accordingly as you keep revealing, adjusting and aligning to who you truly are and what you need.
Running from the memories and I resolved conversations of traumatic relationships only allows the trauma bond to stay connected to you and manifest in new people and situations.
It won’t feel like the conditioning pattern has left you until you choose to embrace its presence in your life as a pathway that leads you back to yourself.
Welcome this initiation of a new world, don’t run from it.
Until you can acknowledge your dark, you can’t access your full power as this is the first step to embracing your humanity…
So your very obsession to avoiding or hiding your pain will be what breaks you down the most, as your soul is seeking its own “fragment fractal” back home, so this will be the process for you, again and again, until you see or don’t see.
Your avoidance is what limits you; know your observation and awareness is CRUCIAL to crossing the bridge into “new receptivity or healing”, do you see
That the more you embrace your humanity “just as it is” is the more you can embody your divinity?
So please be your own best lover, creator, supporter, inner child, parent, empowerment, listener and voice that you never received as a child.
And take the inner time to surrender, draw inwards and be aware of the silence in between your thoughts and being…
The entire universe is at your fingertips, yet you must fully activate it through surrender, presence, listening deeper and allowing yourself to be open to the magic in the void.
This time is the magical bridge if you so choose it—the space and doorway between completing the old and stepping into the new….
New Moon In Gemini
June 3rd 2019
The Sun and the Moon met in Gemini yesterday June 3rd @ 12 degrees with no major aspects except the heat turning up as we feel the summer eclipses coming in and all the retrograde lessons ripening (I’ll re post those retrograde posts on my Facebook later for review).
This is your turning point that I’ve been speaking to for months—are you ready?
The New Moon in Gemini IS the doorway of you receiving, nurturing and fertilizing the seeds you planted in March and also way back last year.
Yes you are not going to master it all in a day. Just relax, master the day, and repeat.
Yet you must CHOOSE.
You must say what you need, want and claim it, your higher self is listening.
A healer or teacher can only guide you with your transformation, you must be willing to do the inner work because it’s your journey.
The shadows becoming more apparent are showing you what you must give yourself.
This also means not putting things that don’t honor you on pedestals and STOP giving your energy to irrelevant things and step more into alignment.
You are seeing how as you step up how your soul is requiring you to receive deeper, elevate—even in the breakdown as you let go of what doesn’t serve you.
So that you get the lesson, master your exploration over expectation, and step into what is more authentic for you.
Because until you see your own inner magician—your soul and awakening heart, throat and third eye chakras will keep putting you face to face with obstacles that make you go in to face your own truth.
Your soul will ask you to reveal the parts of yourself that you tirelessly work at hiding—and ask you to receive what you are convinced you are not worthy of receiving.
Your soul will always ask for freedom and to be surrendered into being seen and loved.
You must be ready to choose to trust yourself and choose to see the light; the whole, even in the dark.
Because if you keep choosing dualistic thinking and problems then not even the Angels can help you.
Yet if you choose the vibration of authentically being and going you, it’s magnetic and all you need to know to “go within, tap into or manifest” as Source directly.
Where you stop trying and just be, allowing all that is not you to burn away.
This is part of the sifting process and you value yourself and purify your energy.
On a lighter note this new moon also invites you to be creative, playful and inventive with your ideas, dreams and energy to help you open up where you’ve felt stuck…
You may experience this energy as a quick rise in pressure, or a stark realization of what has been blocking you.
Take a deep breath. Embrace. Stand up. Lean in. Voice out. You are going to be OK.
Know that bringing shadows to light can be intense for you as you purge the old from your system (when it’s screaming the loudest, it’s ready to shift!)
Trust the deconstructing of the old programming and as you birth open the new as you allow the energetic disturbance to force you to root deeper into love.
We’ve had some very tense and heavy build up before the new moon and the space is asking you to hold the depth of pain AND still hold space for the magic of what’s unknown and all possible.
You can be grateful for all the lessons and gifts, even the trauma (so long as you’ve created new boundaries) AND open up bigger than you ever have for the magic.
Yet in order to do this you need to balance and begin putting yourself and your energetic needs as a priority. Nurture and water yourself.
Mother and father yourself, heal your wounds and retrieve the lost and disowned parts of your soul back home, each time.
Since this last New Moon cycle, things are on the way of drastically shifting in our lives as we connect and look out over the energy coming ahead.
This new moon cycle is revealing the darkness of our souls and the possibility for transmutation at the same time.
The ancestral wounds that need to be healed in order to fulfill our soul purpose are part of why you are here on this planet in this lifetime.
So this is a time of invocation. A baptism of sorts.
A rite of passage to allow you to wash away karmic debris, if you so choose.
If you have been or you are finally giving honorable recognition to the darkest aspects of your soul, then this week is a doorway to choose to step forward and upward.
Remember all is revealed when you are ready; not before. This is where spiritual sight comes from, when your being (heart frequency) is fully embodied and aligned, divine timing happens.
You can at any time take off the masks of who you decided to be at one point as you creatively play and experience more of who you want to become, where we want to open up and to unite within before the world told you, you can’t.
What’s being highlighted is where is your power struggles within?; where are you not voicing and embodying your own self truth and living it out?
What does this look like for you?
Is it gently speaking when someone doesn’t believe you?
Is it one less drink when you’re out with friends?
Choosing to breathe whenever the impulse of blame arises?
Facing your feelings regardless of the trigger?
Making more time for your creative passions, instead of attempting to be all things to all people?
Making more time to just “be” instead of in the mode of “doing”?
Is it receiving, reflecting, rejoicing and honoring life just as it is instead of chasing?
Maybe it’s putting less force into your efforts and flowing in the direction of simplicity and ease?
Or facing the fear of being unloved, unmet or feeling like you won’t be happy in this lifetime?
Or maybe it’s beginning and ending each day paying yourself the highest compliment that you have waited your entire life to hear?
All in all, you know it’s time —to BE— who you needed when you were younger.
This summer may take you through old childhood memories as you release your own mythology of what’s true for you at this point of your awakening.
Identifying and releasing your obsessions, your addictions, the war within, and duplicity in the life you lead, as you understand your own deeper self and truth.
All to be integrated as the heat continues to climb throughout the next month until the July 31st — The Black New Moon.
The Black Moon Portal Has Opened
On June 3rd, the Gemini New Moon opens an 8 week eclipse wormhole portal that echoes your path of ascension into 2020.
Having two new moons in one month is rare, making the second new moon in July a Black Moon on July 31st! This is the day the portal closes.
When it does, the stage for 2020 will be set so that, when we emerge from this wormhole, everything will have changed.
So two eclipses and two new moons, all pointing to a new beginning of a lifetime.
We are just now feeling the ripples of what’s to come over the July 1st eclipse, bringing you signs that it’s time to claim and rise up from life changes outside our control.
Until then, for the next few weeks, we are sifting through old and new energy as we are transmuting, incubating, and embodying new truths and changes – questioning things from both sides, and mulling over the possibilities.
This is about self discovery of what’s for us and not for us as we sift through employing our clear boundaries.
Not just boundaries with those who may not honor you to the degree you wish to be honored, but boundaries for yourself to help create a renewed focus of self-love, instead of self destruction or self sabotage.
Yes the energy amongst the high and new can also feel frustrating, brooding, sad, angry and heavy.
Start to realize that transformation isn’t an adornment to your existing life, but its complete unravelling AS you recreate.
This is where you must go within. You must trust your inner compass. You must listen within, this your source direct and your magnetism.
Even in the pain. When we surrender and sit with the pain, the experience, the situation or trigger just as it is, we find a magical portal.
The energy now that many awakening in the collective have grounded in their hearts are now activating their throat and third eye chakras.
It’s not enough to know your truth, you have to live it all the way and bring your heart through your embodiment and deepen your divine feminine inner aspect.
Can we hold the loss or deep pain like a baby and still stay open to love or even spirit? — it’s a choice.
Can we be our own healer, be self responsible and advocate for ourselves as we soul retrieve and re parent ourselves?
Can we move forward, even when we have to at the same time acknowledge and honor (even the shit) where we are at?
Can you let go of what you think you know, to make room for more?
Can you feel the pain AND gently hold it at the same time as being open for love?
Can you be in the crux of the trigger and choose a new pattern?
Spirit is asking you to get real with your inner Divine —are you willing to step up?
Yes, you can.
This is a choice of being your own guru.
Your awakening that is grounding deeper isn’t about a goal to achieve, a ladder to climb, fantasy to fulfill or some destination to reach.
Your heart, root, sacral and third eye chakras (just so you know) are ready for deeper integration.
Your awakening is about a clear understanding of who you are and who you are not, because when you crack through the surface of fleshy illusions, you will see the light shining within you, even in the dark.
This is the existence of your true self.
What’s inside you is ready to be awakened and remembered. But it’s not going to happen by WAITING.
This is where we find ourselves dealing with the most essential part of the ascension process, to sit with the dark and the light aspects of ourselves, acknowledging where the two sides meet in the middle without judgement, to see greater truth.
It’s so heart courageous to admit and hold the existence of our dark side.
The energy that is beginning is helping us see the “old and the new” in the inbetween of every moment, that a choice must be made.
A Choice Point Towards Wholeness
During this intense Gemini energy, the dual nature of things in this 3D world we live in becomes much more clear.
In a world of opposites, we are reminded that unity is only found within in balance, and that to do this, we must come from a place of already being whole.
This is what I mean when I say “soul retrieving” – the process of mending the split, and coming back home to wholeness.
This is what you must choose.
At every moment we are presented with choices.
Make healthy choices.
Choose to grow, choose to trust yourself, choose happiness, choose to love your life, choose to love your body, choose to raise your vibration…
Choose to take the leap or next step, choose to be brave, choose to change, choose to transform yourself, choose to stop blaming others, choose to be happy, choose to better yourself, choose to follow the right guidance!
Choose to stay awake even when it hurts, choose to open your mind, choose to be productive, choose to be a better and happier person just as you are in the little moments!
You always have a choice, and that choice is highlighted during this portal more than any other part of the year.
How do you want 2019 to turn out?
Choose Gratitude and patience, and ways of alignment right now instead of wishing and waiting.
Like all new moons it’s represent the ending and beginning of new cycle (where you plant new seeds and till soil — or where you do deep shadow work as you nurture and take care of yourself — like you are gardening in the middle of the night).
You can choose to wallow in all that’s lost or you can choose to open to the next chapter?
Life will make sense soon enough on why things had to happen the way they did (unless you already see the bigger picture, then good for you).
So keep doing the work. It’s really a good time to let go of our old misconceptions and old ways we used to see and value ourselves through.
Now is a great time to take a hard look at the choices you’ve made in your life and ask yourself, “What stays and what goes?”
On a cosmic level, you are being shown what’s for you and what isn’t for you so pay attention to how your nervous system responds to ideas, people and directions.
Don’t put any situation or person on a pedestal. Don’t romanticize any situation not working for you. Stop putting things on pedestals that are holding you back.
It’s about not looking outside us anymore or being focused on others. It’s about nurturing those old frequencies back home.
Before you focus on what other people are doing, or blaming them for “being toxic” – you must look at what part of you is resonating with toxicity.
We subconsciously seek situations to act out our old emotional wounds until we receptively choose a new beginning.
Instead of focusing your Source energy on blaming another in a toxic bond between you both, ask your inner child what part of you is resonating or seeking reunion with this unhealthy piece, to help you be healthy and whole.
Because it’s only in this magical cauldron space when you have the opportunity to redirect the energy inside you, giving you the opportunity to dive within and nurture the ghost that is ailing you.
It’s not about others. It’s about seeing what part of you is drawn to the toxicity so that you can bring it back home and take care of the deeper need coming from love.
It’s about being your truth all the way no matter who you are around and being who you are as you live it; so live it; embody and express it.
Divine feminine integration is taking place for many who are ready as they bring more awareness of the heart into how we speak — the words you use are changing right now because the way you speak to yourself MATTERS.
Make sure to spend extra quiet time alone with yourself —especially if you have not been doing so from previous updates. This summer is going to be intense so take the quiet time now.
Allow yourself to be present in the moment, especially the most uncomfortable ones! This is how you transcend the past.
Be gentle with your words and voice, use them to create authentic connection instead of creating false bypassing or disconnection.
You are already whole. YOU are not waiting for another lover or healer or hero to save you.
You are not waiting for some future perfected thing or someone to complete you.
You Are Whole Even When ALONE Just AS YOU ARE:
With the magic that is unfolding, what you see is based on how much you have aligned within so trust the process happens in layers.
Things are not meant to be set in stone which is going to allow you to sift through what you want to take with you and what you don’t.
This “sifting” takes you coming from the whole — from non duality and holding it like a baby.
The moment you tense up, resist, fight or war with yourself is the moment you enter duality consciousness and you stop “sifting.”
Keep saying NO to the irrelevant things so that magic can enter and really choose to be careful with your (creation) words and thoughts at this time, be gentle!
And anything that no longer serves your highest truth — it’s time for it to go and wrap it up.
That’s the only way you can make room for what’s to come.
Your New Beginning Of Self Love And Care
Opportunities are blooming, for you, the more you tune into living your truth fully.
Your new beginning is here, yet are you aligned within and have you activated what you want, from within?
Are you dancing in the inventive and creative lately and renewing your energy?
There’s so much personal invention energy in the air that I feel that it’s the last time to sit with this gentle energy / this calmness this moon before the crazy summer of eclipses begins.
Right now, imagination is everything, and your ability to express your imagination is at an all time high.
It’s time for playful, inventive, curious exploration without judgement or without things being set in stone.
Be playful and open, even in the tough moment you just want to talk a bunch of trash.
This takes truth, alignment, surrender, flow and raw, naked (powerful) vulnerability.
Allow yourself to be in the mindset of uniqueness. The “sameness mindset” most people are stuck in, just replays the same misunderstandings and creates more of the same dissatisfaction in life.
Be brave, bring something into the world which has never been seen before.
What is that idea that keeps coming to you, that excites you, but maybe you have not yet acted on yet?
NOW is the time to act on it. It’s time to light the way forward.
You are given permission to change and be who you really are.
Stop focusing on others, and learn how to say NO.
It’s not your job to detox others, it’s your job to stop focusing on your toxic bonds…
You CAN connect with all the unmet, abandoned parts of you that come up from another, being what or who they are, just as they are.
You can go straight through the heart surrender as you openly witness inside you what unhealthy parts of you are being drawn toward shaming, blaming and hiding keeping you stuck in karmic loops instead of living and expressing authentic truth.
You can ask your inner child within what piece of you is resonating or seeking out its own wounding to be brought into the light?
How we exercise our awareness in HOW we respond to traumatic memories holds the very key and rite of passage: 🗝✨
Can we choose to relate from the wound or the heart?
Can we respond from our true self or are we responding from the trauma?
You can create anything you truly choose all the way without stressing about dualistic details like “is it going to be successful” or “am I worthy?” or “when’s it going to happen?”
Let that go, you don’t need to have everything figured out at once.
It’s all happening in Divine time — what does that mean for you?
It means that what you most desire arrives as soon as your soul (your body; embodied being) is fully aligned with allowing it into your reality.
This process happens in layers and the energy is asking you for deeper discovery before your final turnaround, clarity and direction right now.
Which means there’s more room and space for miracles, opportunities and blessings than your mind can comprehend right now.
Don’t get riled up with the underbelly energy of this Gemini new moon energy and overthink everything…
Drink more water, take your herbs, allow yourself to purge and keep allowing it all to penetrate your heart chakra and your higher heart.
It’s not about thinking, scheming, wishing or waiting; it’s about following inspired being and actions from your own intuitive guidance system.
You must choose to stop spinning, fighting and being at war—and focus more through every present brushstroke, step, alignment you are painting and more clarity will land…
Go in and be still; drop into your body wisdom to feel what your gut tells you.
Are you focusing more on how your authentic core desires and dreams need to be nurtured, even the small steps today?
Are you willing to SHINE even in the ugly?
Are you willing to hold your torch up to the sky — even when visibly working through the problem?
Can you open your heart and your hand — even when it’s cold and raining?
Because —I’ll mention it again here, that’s ALL you need.
Exposure to truth just as it is changes everything and reorganizes your place in the universe, so trust the process and stay open.
There’s no truth except the truth that exists within you so remember the magic isn’t outside you —you ARE the magic!
So SHINE by embracing who you are, just as you are and trust your journey, drink your medicine and blossom through it all.
You can be grateful for ALL that is here and still be open for all that is to come.
How To Come “Back Home” Through This Dark Moon Portal
This Gemini Dark Moon portal will have you questioning everything because you see both sides to everything. The options can become overwhelming.
Everything that is happening is to bring yourself back home. You can’t erase what happened, you can only let go as you reprogram the heavy energy attached.
Whatever you nurture within, grows. So listen and receive more, even in the face of what’s being revealed to you.
This is how you transform, you are not separate from the whole. Remember, you are the whole.
It’s time for you to connect more, play more, write/draw/paint more, sing and dance again as you deepen what nurtures your younger child within you.
Like I said in previous updates, pay attention to how your nervous system responds to things, ideas and people — do you feel yourself shrink or expand
That’s what’s for you or not for you. Learn the difference between connection and attachment. Connection empowers you, attachment sucks the life out of you.
And at the same time choose NOT to “energetically charge” or entertain certain behaviors now, because if you do, you’ll find yourself much more grounded during this wild, life changing summer.
For example, it no longer makes sense for you to:
❌ Debate with people about right or wrong
❌ Try to get someone to see your point of view
❌ Convince another to see your value
❌ Keep your stories alive by retelling them to yourself or others
❌ Hang on to past offenses
❌ Commiserate with others about injustices or wrongdoings
❌ Spend time in judgement land
❌ Wishing/waiting things were different
Now is NOT the time to ask the world when its going to fix itself… when everything will smooth itself out … or when things will suddenly be easy and effortless.
Because the truth is, nothing is going to save you…but you.
All those questions, hopes and ideals only reflect that something outside of you CAN NEVER make your dreams come true.
Belief clings but faith let’s go and chooses to create.
Stop excluding your own POWER and remember – YOU are the equation.
Own your truth when you are triggered and don’t blame or bypass the inner work…
Instead MAKE MAGIC with this portal energy over the next coming week and saturate your brain and immerse yourself in experiences that are creative and expansive.
Once you fully commit to healing and honoring your process you’ll enter into new awareness where you’ll see that even the tough people were only instruments to aide in your evolution so focus on the lesson and not the person.
For example, instead of focusing on THEM or on questions outside of you without you having to do anything, including yourself in the equation and watch your world start to shift as you…
✅ Listen deeper to your inner voice
✅ Get curious about your own potential
✅ Trust your knowing instead of your mental history
✅ Drop your attachment to the way things should be, or used to be, or could be
✅ Feel awake to life – right now just as you are!
And feel yourself connected to an inner fire eternal flame that feeds you more than anything external to you ever could!
Know you are available even in the breakdown for miracles, magic and new insights.
So dance in the rain. Take evening walks in the meadow. Read poetry, sing or play with whatever feels like sacred scripture to your soul.
Let your soul-voice surface through some uncensored automatic writing.
Or let your soul guide your body through movement, like qi gong or ecstatic dance.
Above all, choose explorations over expectations, love.
Sometimes the greatest magic is found in the void, when there’s nothing left to hold onto…
So drink your medicine—only your heart knows your next step of alignment, leading you forward… ✨
And receive another deep breath.
Keep taking the leap as you embody love so total that your aura/body rejects anyone who can’t understand you or see your worth!
Embrace even the f-ugly truths bubbling up inside you – as you take true response-ability to how you “respond” to your “ability” to choose what serves you.
Trust that your rebirth happens in steps as transformation unfolds layer by layer, not all at once.
Focus more of your energy on what you choose to grow and what makes you happy just as you are NOW as you water, nourish and restore yourself…
Listen to your body: what is expansive and what is constrictive—the activities you do, the people around you…
When you stop giving your Source energy to everything that is no longer irrelevant, magic begins to open up and fill the space you made room for!
The most loving thing we can do for each other is untangle ourselves from codependency in our relationships so that we ALL are free to find wholeness within ourselves.
Unless you learn to face your own shadows you will continue to see them in others and reject them because the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you.
There’s is no “out there” as everything that’s happening is an extension of you. You are the magician and with great power, comes great responsibility.
You can no longer avoid what’s real love, it’s already been unfolding and happening…
The universe is being loud and clear about the revealing truth inside you as you begin your new chapter:
Yesss, it’s about mastery love—not about repeating the same karmic cycles —so go IN.
Go into the void, the gap…the unknown straight surrender through your heart, whenever you’re triggered, where it hurts, whenever you fear …
Whenever you’re offered this dark opportunity to dive into your wild core, witnessing what part of you is still drawn to toxicity so that you can hold it —as this too is self love.
Feel into it and nurture it from within as you would a small child needing love, re-mothering the compartmentalized frequency back home…
And trust you are your own greatest healer; the tiny steps you are taking now turn into massive leaps later.
Know that your deepest wishes are only whispers of your authentic self so learn to respect these little children — your authentic inner child inside you.
It’s only through contrast of life that leads you to the most profound and REAL areas of your heart:
The depth of where you understand—that the truth that actually FREES YOU is truth never told by others…
It’s the truth that only YOU can confront and free yourself from, and it comes from within.
P.S. How has the Dark Moon Portal shown up in your life? I appreciate your feedback and want to hear your story. Please leave me a message in the comments below <3