Bella in Stroller

Hi lovely heart,

Like I promised, I’m sending you all kinds of content from here from the depths of my being (short and long) and no longer holding back (on any topic).

I am owning all of me, every part in real-time with you on this journey from here…

As many of you already know, I’ve always shown you the dark and the light yet there were taboo topics that I just avoided…

Yet with the state of the world being as it is, I know in every part of me that it’s time to accept all of me and voice it as it exists authentically, even if it may trigger some people.

Know that I love you no matter what and when I am whole with me, I am able to serve you deeper from the HUMAN in me as well the soul of me.

So the stuff I send you from here…

Might be considered “incomplete” or deep or long or very short, potent or even funny or hopefully inspiring in some way…

All the feels happening real-time.

All that is deeply in my body, somatic and felt…

And kinds of risky or vulnerable content and maybe just ramblings from here on out…

Some may just be half-thoughts without a main point and some ramblings may be very focused.

I still aim to begin sending you different (body/field/energy hygiene) practices to try, one at a time, like what I started to publish over the past summer yet wasn’t able to complete.

And by the way, beautiful souls…

I’m absolutely LOVING your reflections, stories, and feedback over the past few days, as I sit in tears reading your emails and comments.

You really blow me away and many of you are BRILLIANT writers, I hope you know this?

Okay so here’s the scoop and why I want to talk about this more in the future:

(YOU inspire me…)

I want to provide a platform for you guys soon (those of you who KNOW it’s time to voice something or those of you who know you have a message to share and you know it’s time for you to voice and be heard.)

Yes, you read that right, I want to open up our email list (385K subscribers) to you…

To you, who knows in your body, heart, and soul you are ready to voice something important to your life, your story and perhaps your life mission now…

I feel many of you are out there right now and one of the main things you need is ears and hearts who want to listen to you…

You need an audience.

I desire to help you VOICE and make this offering to you because I feel THE TIME IS NOW!


So how you do this (for now to start) is by allowing me to see you and showing up and commenting or replying on whatever sentiments, feelings, or stories that are arising organically in the space on ANY message, soul note, or video I send you from here…

I want to hear your story and I know others need to hear your story or soul message also…

Remember YOUR story could be the one key that helps to unlock someone else’s “too small of a cage” and set them free…

Okay, you’ll hear more about this from me, later.

(And of course, I’ll be paying more attention than I ever have and remembering the names of who’s replying, writing in, or commenting on the blog or even on Facebook for now.)


For now, let me know what is showing up for you when you read this…

I posted the note on my Facebook a couple of weeks back as I was going through it personally and vulnerably…

It’s all about learning how to end anything that feels abusive from within, instead of chasing the external…

Love you!

“When you tell someone how they’ve repeatedly hurt you and they instead see it as a criticism or attack on THEMSELVES as opposed to an honest attempt on your part to have your needs for authenticity, safety and connection sincerely met, that is a red flag that another cannot see you.

They act and maybe even genuinely think your right to voice that you are in intense pain is a threat and violation of THEM.

This is something to notice and to adjust your boundaries or response accordingly.

Hard lesson for me anyway.

Otherwise how long will you wait to end the generational pattern?

From within?

(It’s really never about the “other”)

Meaning recognize the red flags and choose to go within and do something about it.

And, yeah it is true.

Perhaps they or you or we were abused or experienced trauma in some way.

Yet it’s up to me to not keep allowing the repeating of the abusing or abandoning of self.

No pushing, guessing, or pleasing.

Yet disrupting from within.

Real injustice is allowing, becoming, or perpetuating in any way or dynamic the very wrong or energy pattern that has been done to you, don’t you think?

If you’ve been subjected to injustice or just believe you see injustice, I hope you ultimately decide and use that intelligent knowledge as a “portal of healing” or “charge just as it is” to guarantee justice…

And forge a new path.

I have focused a lot on the external from a lack of self-esteem in my life instead of playing a more active role in my own self-love.

I am still changing this now.

I am learning (and failing) fully owning in present time and body all of me and how I can show up for her.


So that I can stay rooted in more empathy instead of my thoughts.

So that I can navigate my own pain or drama with humility and honesty.

So that I can operate and stay grounded and centered within my own rooted being, sense of self, and boundaries in a healthy and direct way. No matter what is happening.

As well as check, spot, and excavate my own pathologies or self-narrations within.

And ultimately “know what is mine” or what truly isn’t.

Ending the war (integration/uniting) within to the point of no longer entertaining or being present or “available” for mistreatment or “abuse.”

No longer giving to what isn’t fully meeting you where you repeatedly and authentically are.

“No bad guys”

Just going within.

It’s true:

‘There are no threats and bullying that happen for good.

There is no destroying of others for right.’

We must grow out of this pattern for there to be peace.

We must fully witness the wound or distortion as it is without hiding it.

This is what I must do for my child and her future children…

This is what we must do for our children of the world.

Flip these curses.

Break the spell.”

You got this babe…trust yourself 🥲♥️

Loving you,

Crystal Aryana

P.S. If we are friends on Facebook, come and say hi on my wall here

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana


  • Sergio Varona says:

    Happy New Year Crystal,

    I saw the lovely picture of you and Isabella smiling as you were enjoying a dinner. I feel this new year will be a better year for you than 2021. I wish you happiness, good health and all the best.

  • WE ARE IN THE SAME WORLD. WE ARE WITH THE WORDS. WE ARE DOING THE WORKS. WE ARE WITH THE ONE. However, my Father is Energy (I am Male) and my Mother is Time (you are female). Honor Them they are the REAL Parents. Your message is clearly from the HEART of sacrifice, of the self, to the offerings of truth to all of the self-sacrifice for others to open the gates of forming a body of words/works for the future of spirituality/reality/individuality. Though, I am homeless on EARTH, with my granddaughter, I am in a SPIRIT mansion of truth with YOU+WE. My body is my temple, and my mind is the tree of firmament and WE are bonded by the invisible and separated by the physical. LOVE is SHINING from you, and I hope My LOVE Shines on YOU. Eternally-Now.

  • Dani says:

    Thank you so much for your message! Right now I’m going through a spiritual awakening and your messages come to me right when they are needed. I am struggling nowadays, it can get really rough. Thank you for what you do. You are so much appreciated!

  • Malinda Sells says:

    Crystal Aryana…..I am so lucky to have met u….may we learn from each other and be beyond blessed….r truths r so very familiar….thank u so much for sharing

  • Malinda Sells says:

    I had a feeling about this platform before u made it…..I’m still standing….even in every quiver of my leg….every shake to my core….since I was 4….its been one hell of a life….but I never gave up….I stumbled….I fell….a lot….and I face every adversity on my own….in this ugly world….always have always will….I still smile…I still hold my head up…because I have made it….on the other side of all of my trials and tribulations….I have held my faith and hope for better days….it can’t rain all the time…..thru it all damn did I discover an unshakable woman….thank u universe and spirit family….thank u for letting me live and still love

  • Kimberly says:

    Hello Crystal!!

  • Crystal M Broome says:

    Dear Crystal, I’m so happy to see you coming in your truth! I too have been dealing with a narcissist that has really done a number on me! I also have PTSD from the mental, emotional, physical and yes sexual abuse from my first husband! So I can say I have been reliving the past!! My husband of 18 yrs left me while I was sick and not able to take care of myself and of course the pandemic has made it even harder!! I have really grown this year but I’m not where I want to be! I’m an empath and trying to learn to keep people from sucking my energy dry!! I had a really bad traumatizing experience I’m not sure how to cope with. So Crystal it is awesome to know I’m not alone!! Thank you so very much!

  • Candace Reynolds says:

    Hello Crystal,
    I’m really new to expressing myself but I’ve been following an reading everything you write and being a highly sensitive empath I can relate to what your going through an actually feel your emotions. But as I read you open up my encouragement to make my voice heard and break the cycle in my family to go out of our comfort zone an what we grew up believing what was the right way to achieve an heal ourselves. I recently came to myself an realized I want better for myself an want to show my kids how to be true to themselves an live life without any regrets also to show them it’s alright to fall a few times an to start again cause that’s the only way they will expand their knowledge and get where they want in life plus to express their selves through whatever art they feel more comfortable with. I always put all my problems on the person that I thought caused them but you made me realize that they weren’t the ones causing them they were only in my life to help me learn from a lesson they needed to teach me so I was able to grow as a person an to find my path in life. Now I am grateful for the people that came into my life even when some times were bad an hurt but I’m learning to forgive an hope the people I hurt forgive me. Thank you crystal for sharing your life story cause you truly are showing me that life is great even through all the chaos and now I can teach my kids to truly be authentic with themselves and not to give up. Your a very special person in this world an your changing a lot of people’s lives with what your putting out in this world..

  • Sharon Lee says:

    Dear Crystal, with all the noise in social media, you got my attention!

    Yes, I am one who feels called to lead the way and help others who struggle in their own path. Of course that means I am well versed in my own personal struggle.

    I’ve definitely had my share of misfortune. To name just a couple, my then-husband kidnapped my 2 yr. son and disappeared for 6 weeks. I lost my home and income. My business had to close down after a flood.

    Through many trials and tribulations I got back on my feet and learned how to focus on the things that help me thrive.

    For anyone who might feel really really really stuck, I am sure I can assist you in getting back on your divine path.

    Crystal, you offered your platform to get other healers and teachers in touch with those who need assistance, I was guided to hear and act upon your invitation.

    I call on a legion of guides angels and mentors in the physical and non- physical realms. We are all connected. But we have to ask and choose it.

    Im here. Reach out to me in a Direct message if you feel drawn to receive some help and guidance.

    It’s my calling. Im absolutely 100% sure of my gifts and purpose.

    Im here to be the light to lead the way out of confusion and chaos and to the brighter future for us all.

    • Suzy says:

      I’ve been stuck for years! My story is long and complicated. I was a school teacher of the autistic, which I’m not even getting into the ten years it took to get my degree only to let a man’s abuse and lack of a support system in my life. I went 100% disabled at 34 and put on a bunch of psychiatric medications and had been dealing with PTSD since I was a child! If I could regain some courage and self esteem I could be helping those I was meant to! From highly accredited and published to crazy and my personal life ruining my professional life!My Dad died a few months ago and my mother hasn’t spoken with me in 10 years and I cannot find her. She was a perfectionist and I’m not Jesus!

    • Luz Eneida Palacio says:

      What is going to happen in my love life? Its there any chance in the future for me to buy a house and move out from here together with my 3 sons

  • Tuki says:

    “”You are always loved” by people in this world and those who love you from the other side

  • Eleni says:

    Im heart wrenched to hear you the energy the dance purge you went through …Im going to say Im exeptionally proud ..Proud that you speak from ur truth..I too have passed a horrid yr and a half of my my sweet Mamas passing , the breakup of a 4 yr live in relationship that was dealing with a miserable Narcist , the pandemic where i cant visit my brothers who livd in the states ..I live in Canada ..And the division and seperation my friend of 40 yrs wants to not see me because of the jab…Im fed up and i stay …with alot of anger which i had to learn to purge on my own .. It boils down to Voicing my pain …!! Thank God Thank God I have a great clientelle as clients ..Im a 27yr cerified massage therapist…Yes and i have terrific wonderful true friends that support and are there for me..Yes I am now standing my proudness my strength and I am not a victim .TRUE COLORS ARE SHOWING MORE AND MORE ON PPL U THOUGHT WERE THERE FOR U ..I AM LOVE ..I Am My Moma Olympias daughter who brought me up with goodness ..That others took gor granted BUT Not ANYMORE .

  • Anne says:

    The light is the true path however we must acknowledge/recognise, and in that way we can conquer, the dark. Remind yourself that the people who have hurt you are at fault and not you, you do not need these people, they are vexations to the spirit. You have so much love that it will shine and attract those with like character. You are special, in every way and deserve only the best. You are universally loved. Your daughter looks such a happy and beautiful soul. You already have the most lasting and purest love one can have. Anything else is a bonus.❤️

    P.s. Also same goes for you Gilbert, keep walking in the light, don’t be distracted or give up. Your love and the family you envisage will happen when you least expect it.

  • Allison Reese says:


    You are fabulously beautiful. Thank you for posting. My life was a dream-filled fantasy which turned horrifically dark. I have always wanted to leave the world a better place….instead,….weird Twilight Zone.

  • Gilbert Berrones says:

    All my life i never saw myself as special, nor did I see myself as someone who was going .to build a family and have that happy loving home. I joined a gang when I was young and my mindset was not on women. I found myself getting caught up and did roughly about 11 years on and off in prison. I spent almost all my 20’s incarcerated and when I got released in 2013 i had lost my grandpa while I was incarcerated and i made a promise that I would do everything in my power to change my evil ways and do right. But deep down inside, i always feel not worthy of love. I’ve tried 3 attempts at getting rid of myself, my first try the noose around my neck broke sending me crashing to the floor while I wAs busy hanging myself. Second try i tool 25 speed pills thinking my heart would stop and it didn’t. Lastly I ate a brick of DE-CON RAT POISON, and nothing. I’ve always wanted real true love, not the one i was accustomed to in the gang life , i actually wanted love so much, my mom left me when I was around 7 or 8 and growing up without hugs or kisses, well, it made me feel like I wasn’t supposed to be born. It got to the point where my mantra was, …well my mom didn’t want me, so why should I even want myself. And the past 3 relationships, well,i got cheated on because they mistook my kindness for weakness. I truly feel like my heart can love fiercely and i am loyal till the wheels fall off. But i found myself begging for someone’s attention, just to feel like i belong. Days, years months go by and nothing, my heart is filled with sadness, and joy is an extinct topic. I fell like the darkness is taking over, i find myself seeing the numbers 666 more and more often each day, and now i believe i am condemned to suffer, yet i know I’m not a coward because I literally tried offing myself to no avail. A gun seems like it would do the trick. I’ve taken 2 steps forward and 6 back every day of my life, and nobody to talk to and share it with. The world is changing and many choose to ignore it, i prefer to acknowledge them and make life a bit more messy just like they enjoy making my life aback wards one.

    • Lucy says:

      Look at everything you have’re a strong beautiful unique soul. Sometimes we look for love from others but true healing comes from loving ourselves. Most could not get through the things you’ve been through and still be capable of love. Be proud of yourself. Sometimes when it seems like things are falling apart they are really falling into place.

      Love and Light


    • Check out my channel

    • Sharon Lee says:

      Dear Gilbert, Your words were read. I read them. You are not alone. I’m so sorry you had such a difficult childhood. Your story is unlike many who have filled the prisons. This world can be a dark place. But you Can change the way you think. Right now, if you are reading this message, you are still alive. This means, you have the opportunity to overcome your problems and your history.

      If I can give you one practice that might help you, this is what I suggest. Research people who have succeeded after a devastating setback. YouTube is free. Jordan Peterson – psychologist has helped many men who had a terrible childhood and ended up in prison, has many many free YouTube talks that will be useful to unravel your negative thinking about yourself. He is a humble man, but brave enough to speak with truth.

      Good luck Gilbert! You are suppose to do something great. You are a survivor. You can help others who found themselves in that dark space too. Your success will lead them out. With your fierce love that you have, LOVE is your currency that you are abundant with. No one can steal that from you.

      Be great Gilbert!

  • Josue says:

    It’s kind of hard to express my path, because has many parts in it that would scare people. You see I was always believe that light was the only path but the dark help me break free from all truths and lies and this was always waiting for me to discover and understand, my light is my shadow, there in my darkness I connect with my truth dearly loving emotions that have no end, to my self and those dearly in my life friends and family there both the same

  • Veronica Anderson says:

    Beautifully and well said. Very courageous of you and the only way you can help someone. I’m in a lot of pain, strain and stress in my relationship not sure if anyone else have any of these issues but it really drains your soul and heart so sometimes you don’t know what to do, where to go in your next step in life I feel like I’m a zombie with the issue. Thank you so much for your guidance it’s deeply appreciated.

  • Shay says:

    I have a big ego but I also have feelings of self doubt and inadequacy. Thinking that love equates to how much attention I get or how successful I am. Feeling jealous or even overprotective of ideas that haven’t even seen the light of day but afraid that if I don’t act on them now someone else will. I compare myself to others Alot but at the same time I love that they are so accomplished but yet I still feel Inferior as if I’m on only good enough if I too held a position of power. I’m afraid to take risks feeling like I have to know everything before I do something to avoid judgment or questions that I can’t answer fearful that I may come off as unintelligent. Growing up I had experienced some trauma. I was slow or I couldn’t get right in other people’s eyes and that has caused a lot of my issues today. Wanting to prove to people that I am smart but at the same time I doubt my own abilities out of fear that I want be well received. So much of me has been suppressed and all I have is the destructive personalities of the very same people that critized the little girl that wished that she could be herself. It’s so much more I can say but this is my story and my work is to change the narrative and heal the trauma. Intuitively I’ve bee hearing EGO since the beginning of the year and now I know why. It’s time to be authentic and let go of the past. Because I Am Who I Am and that is enough. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and allowing your readers to share There’s. May God rain blessings and peace on you and your family

  • Dawn says:

    My heart will hold a special place for you and your beautiful son. My story is too long in the darkness, so many years suppressing thoughts, fears, have lacked the ability to have a real voice. My very first step happened last week, I made the decision to not accept fake in my life. Little did I know, the first place was to rid myself of my own fake belief’s, laughing at myself when I realized what a huge process this will be. And yet, once I started to relax into this thought , I’ve found joy again what a beautiful blessing. The smallest shift in our thoughts to align with something funny, silly can be positive. Courage to live forward and embrace all things are possible it’s up to us to take a step. Wishing you blessings!

  • Terry says:

    You don’t know me in form…only in spirit. I’m that one card that keeps appearing from time-to-time when you look at yourself in the deck. How do I know? Let me explain.

    At birth, your soul…a spiritual gift that’s the source of such love and inner power…is split in half and one half shattered. The one half that’s intact, that remains with us…but the rest, those pieces that are left are mixed in with those that came before us and then reattached to the unbroken half like a mosaic. This explains why we don’t have just one but many soulmates in our lives…and why some pull on us stronger than others do…it also explains why we have our quirks that seem to come from almost out of nowhere and are like nobody else we know. I think you hold a piece of my soul inside you, or maybe it’s you who makes up part of me…either way, Hi. I see you now…and although I don’t know most of your story, I love you.

    I don’t have any other explanations. I felt your dance before I saw it…know the softness of your lips from your whispers.

    I’m not looking for anything, and I’m not asking for anything. I just wanted you to know…I’m here now. I found you, and that love you’ve been asking the cards about? Sorry I’m late…I’m a man, I’m horrible with directions.

    So…yeah. If you doubt what I say is true…just ask the cards. They know me and where in our souls we’re connected…and you know it from that feeling when you close your eyes…nope, it’s not gas. 🙂

    I look forward to discovering more about what we bring to each other. For now, enjoy the love I’m sending your way and I look forward to what tomorrow brings.


  • Lucy says:

    I feel you need to have some black tourmaline around you at the moment. I’m unsure why today and why now I’m being urged to pass this message on to you but I know it will make sense to you.

    Love and Light


  • I only wish you a life full of happiness with your beautiful baby and thank you for your pure honesty which is rare these days Sending love and light

  • Síle says:

    I’m really feeling your last few emails about being more authentic, more truthful about how I am, more Myself. It is something I’ve really struggled with during this pandemic. I’ve really felt the need to bury Myself in order to just deal, to help those around me through this. I find I’m pouring from a more and more empty jug these days, and no one sees it. I cry a lot when I’m alone. I can’t even express the pain and depth of what I’m feeling to myself, I just cry. Get the overwhelm out of me. It leaves me more empty than before but at the same time a teensy bit better.

    That’s where I’m at. Openly and honestly.

  • Robert Langford says:

    Courage Mon Brave , courage …. my best and caring thoughts to you & wee one. That candle flame within you may gutter in the winds and storms of life but will never be extinguished x

    Best Regards from Scotland
    Bob Langford

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