Mini Series Part 3: Why Real Love Isn’t Nice

By December 7, 2018 Uncategorized

A Message From Spirit To Heart:

Real Love isn’t “nice”

Real love supports truth just as it is.

If you’re not terrified, you’re not deriving from or existing within love.

If you are not scared because you’re NOT ALL IN with a fierce heart and soft eyes …

If you are not flying into the unknown, having no idea what to do as you go and take new action …

If you are not facing demons in every hairy, sticky uncomfortable area of your life that is asking you to rise into more Soul …

If you are not gripping your heart in pure ecstatic agony …

you my friend are playing it safe.


And safe brings you more of the same thing and less of the thing you truly crave – what your soul aches for.

Safe is the same expectations, the same pattern, the same triggering, the same argument, the same pain, the same heartache that hits you when you know deep down you should be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Why are you still banging your head against closed doors?

You must stand and do it on your own even in the storm.

Safe will not get you what you want nor turn your entire life on. It might be nice.  And “nice” is soul killing to the fire and truth alive inside you.

Nice is doing what others expect, not wanting to look “weird” and coloring in between the lines, afraid to be you and show what is truly real JUST as it is without mind, thought, attachment or judgement …

Love isn’t “nice” … that’s a false programmed Disney fairy tale.

Love when it’s really real will shake you awake so potently that you’ll either have to acknowledge, embrace and dissolve the false self telling you you’re not worthy of love, or the false self will unknowingly and automatically destroy your love.

Which do you choose?

Playing it Safe …or… Creating Safety You Can TRUST?

This is the catch 22.

To go truly deep in an intimate relationship, we need to feel safe with our partner.

Which means that we need to go deep WITHIN and feel safe…

But feeling safe, of course doesn’t mean playing it safe.  

Feeling safe — and knowing  with the whole of our OWN being — that we can trust them, as we are derive from self love.  

We are connected to our relationship with self love and we know our relationship with self.  

Thus we know if we can “trust” someone based on how they treat us and how we knowingly show up within our relationship with self.  

This trust is based not on “thinking” that we should trust them, but rather on consistently sensing in our core their trustworthiness—their integrity, their reliability, their commitment to remaining present under all conditions, their passion for accessing love, depth, and freedom with and through us.

We are the electrical conduit of which they flow through us, so this is our “tell” for trustworthiness.

For example, If we cannot count on our partner to consistently take good care of the container of our relationship — as when energy is leaked through cracks created by erotically wandering attention or by someone not commuter to the same values  — then we will find that we can go only so deep with them.

If one partner is chronically calling the whole relationship into question every time there’s a questioning, expectation, fight or conflict, then the other is probably going to become wary of opening fully.

Less trust means more shallow connection, making the ground of all relationships unnecessarily unsustainable and unstable — like when someone is trying to hold sacred space and certain healthy boundaries are overridden, belittled or trivialized in the name of “freedom” — keeps our relationship or even conversational exchange from being as deep and fulfilling as it could be.

Anyway the point isn’t to create a fortress of security, but to literally be a safe place for our partner to let go of playing it safe.  

The point is you are the center of your fortress and it’s up to you to know how to operate it.   

Trusting others is truly just becoming more aware within along the way and journey – not just what “you thought” in your mind at one time.  

Feeling truly at home inside you and “safe” for no reason as all is much more profound than just feeling secure over an object of external desire.  


Real Safety Isn’t About Playing It Safe

Real safety creates an atmosphere in which we can give our all from abundance without giving ourselves or any of our power away.

It’s about increasing your prowess and cultivating deeper understanding inside yourself.

Real safety makes room for a radically deep sharing of all that we are. Without it, we may seem to be free to go where we could not otherwise go, but such freedom — in its relative superficiality — is actually far more limiting than is the freedom that arises in the presence of genuine safety between intimates.

The safer I am within the more I feel with you, the deeper I can go with you.

The safer I feel within, the more open I am with you, the deeper the risks I can take with you.

The safer I feel within, the more connected I am st source and the deeper and more fulfilling my connections with others …

Real safety gives us room to show up in all our colors.

Such safety gives us permission to be in as much pain as we actually are, thereby making possible the healing we need in order to come fully alive, the healing through which we are, to whatever degree, awakened by all things, including our pain.

What joy, what benediction, what grace, to share this in the dynamic of being at home where ever you go, even in the storm.  

Allowing Yourself To Let Go and Trust

We need to talk to the fire and tell it our personal story in order to release these emotions and remember why we are here.

Exist in the fire all the way as it’s burning away what’s not needed any longer as it’s ashes help sprout what is.  

No one else is hurting us, we are hurting ourselves by holding onto pain.

So I ask with great appreciation for you all that you honor your somatic feels.   Allow the mental story to fall away from the sensations and just feel the body from depth.  

Allow whatever arises to come up safely (without conditions, names, duality or judgement) and find new ways to transmute anger into creative life force energy, sadness into creativity so that we can utilize for the betterment of all beings everywhere.

Only you my love can create the story of your life.

If you show up you will directly feel the lighter energy that is coming if you haven’t already been feeling it for weeks…

Take the actions you must make and do the inner work.  Show up, stay embodied and feel your light even when you have no ”reason” to do so …

Listen. Trust.  Float.

Go to the eye of the needle and feel what you cannot see.  Something key is being illuminated and revealed these past weeks. Allow this “being exposed” to run to the most naked core of you as this is where you biggest transformation lies right now.  

Be gentle with you, even when you must cut through the bullshit and show up in the tough moments with your heart naked and full.

We are all releasing and will be for the next two years collectively.  Trust what new insights you are receiving right now and follow through with embodied action of some sort to cement it into the 3D.

We are collectively being shown to understand BOTH sides … of all layers of existence high and low.  

We are getting to see behind the looking glass of all the many distortions in our world – personally and collectively …

In this great time of disclosure we are seeing behind the illusions, behind ancient thought processes, behind the veil and I know many are feeling a need to put a finger on this alchemical cauldron / eye of the storm experiences we are all going through to make sense out of having to make lemonade with no lemons.  

But there’s no “sense” to it seeing from our old lenses.  Whatever is happening in your life is happening for you to let go of the old and stop trying to fix and change it.

Yet actually surrender into a whole new way of being and seeing that you could never have “gotten” before unless you went through whatever you went through.  

This means.  Stop hiding and judging where you are at.  Whatever moment that you are travelling through right now is holy, whatever its content is.

It’s not one or the other of a dualistic world .. it’s instead part of the WHOLE and the stepping stone leading you to the next stepping stones of your sacred path.

Whatever you may be experiencing right now my love, go in to get out and know that this layer is essential.

It is sacred. It is your key to what’s next.

3 more week and this profound year of heavy rebirth is coming to a closing.  Look back on how far you have come and recognize how much clearing and cleansing has been done.

It’s so essential to look back and reward ourselves especially when we are going through the toughest times of life.  I know so many have shared that they have come so far on their journey and doing so much inner work and yet not much was changing, improving or moving “fast enough” …

Yes that is not true.  It’s during these time when we think life is standing still and we just can’t stand it that we are learning the very things (tools) that can help us the most.

The choice is alchemy.  

This deep immersion of “being in the void” within is very much needed to create a new solid ground to restart from.

Even if every or any 2018 “goal” wasn’t met, your awareness and empathy with self and others significantly grew.

Your old karmic lessons and loops have lost their charge and draw on you. This is only because you went it to get out.  Your triggers and karmic loops dissolved because you went through and out, bringing closure to these cycles from a place of presence (heart, zero point).

We HAD to go through the breakdown to get to the realization of the breakthrough … that our rebirth and new beginnings in 2019 stand on the other side of all this purge.  

On the other side of a breakthrough. By bringing light to something, you are liberated into a higher state of soul alignment & freedom.

All the clearing and “removal” that is happening and has been happening all year (and earlier years for some on a accelerated timelines) was all truly necessary and needed to open up the way for the gifts and alignment happening finally coming to fruition in 2019 – and with this Sagittarius New Moon today I am feeling it!

I’ll be writing much more later this weekend but the New Moon today opens up the way to a new part of the path that we have not fully seen seeing yet..

I don’t know if anyone is ready or can express truly what’s happening to them right now beyond wild and rapid rebirth no matter your level of experience or mastery as I feel the new moon is highlighting the soul energy of this well deserved rebirth we have all been waiting for.   

Even if it looks “shitty” and you can’t find the external evidence that guarantees you – in the 3D – that you are on track … TRUST and keep feeling what you know you deserve.

This is like Indiana Jones stepping out onto the plank and trusting his feet will land.  

KEEP GOING and doing the work, tilling the soil and planting your seeds.  Spring is coming my loves.

What you’ve ask more and wanted for so long is becoming available and you don’t have to sacrifice or settle anymore or give your heart and power away.

It’s time to have it all my loves as this is a time of focusing on the new and CREATION instead of always looking in the rear view and learning lessons the hard way.

Stop banging on closed doors.  New wants to emerge if you have purged and made the room.  If not make the room and stop interacting with whatever pulls you into the old.  

This way you can ALLOW the completion of cycles now.

Allow what’s gone to finally fully dissolve.  Don’t go back to what you’d have allowed before you shifted, because if you don’t believe you have to settle anymore you will stop leaking your life force unnecessarily. .  

Accept your freedom and your happiness.  Even if you can’t remember the last time you were fully happy, know that you are reading this because it’s time.  

This is about allowing yourself to let go of all the “contractive” conditioning that blocks our reception to new frequencies and ways of seeing and being.

Dive into the sacred container that you are and let go from a place of the divine in your heart.  

This is a sign that it’s time to stop fighting.  You are no longer at war.

Your job more than ever to create what you want from your heart and actualize it – receive your new chapter.  

BE the example of it – instead fixing, blaming or bypassing, take the inspiring actions that fill you.  

Take extra gentle care and be hopeful and confident. Your rebirth is on its way.

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana

Hi, my name is Crystal. Since an early age, I've felt a strange connection to the Universe, so I spent my entire life seeking out mentors and teachers to help me harness my gift. Since then, I've been reading tarot cards, channeling messages and healing bodies around the world. Thank you for visiting my website and I hope to join you along your journey <3


  • Angela Tracy says:

    You are so right I am going thru so much and don’t know what way to turn I am trying so hard so I love when I here from you cause it like you know and can help

  • Wendy Henshaw says:

    Bless you beautiful soul. I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, care and kindness. Within is without for us all so we realise that you too are feeling what we are feeling right now. This year has been a painful journey but we are all lighter and more free to open our wings and float without fear. The vibration is raising and we must also let go to keep up. I wish you health happiness and unconditional love. Once again many thanks for your beautiful reassuring gift. It helps me realise that we are one and never alone

  • Nombulelo says:

    Morning…hope all is well. Been trying to read part 3 since Friday and its not going through or am not understanding…especially when you talk about love. Most of the time I dont think you talking to me. I dont understand…

  • I’m asking your husband just you’re looking for you from a little

  • April says:

    Hey Crystal this whole rebirth situation that’s happening now has completely uprooted everything! I lost my job 5 weeks ago surprisingly but not surprised but it hurts and of course the money! I’ve also found out that everybody I know has been lying to me for their own benefit! And my husband has been acting like a man I don’t know. I’m really confused I’m supposed to know where I’m going but I am having a hard time seeing where I’m going to end up. I’m very leery of society after the incident with my job I do however now have 3 part time jobs that don’t equal up to the one I lost. Yes this is a rebirth. And it’s been forced. But I feel the tide conform to the changes rather than resist and I’m going to end up in the right place. We shall see thank you so much although I can’t read everyday I do try to pay attention and get the message when I do have a great evening. April

  • Wyn says:

    Thank you Crystal Aryarana I heard your message that was sent and received with love

  • Blanca says:

    Thanks for the advice is beautiful I love it

  • Barbara says:

    I’m truly impressed with being of your young age, your talent and insight far extend beyond your years. I hope your holidays and New Year bring you happiness and great success. Thank you.

  • Karen says:

    Thankyou for the support and advice xx

  • Wow. That was dead on. Not the Toni reply by what you said.im glad it’s time cuz I’m emotionally drained. And ready for life to happen and to be happy .and I found my happy place.

    Thank you

  • Tiffany Long says:

    Having a pure heart can and will be overwhelming at times. But if you have faith and believe in yourself . Love yourself and do all for the greater good. Only out of light and love and no fear in your heart. You can’t go wrong.you will always prevail. “ The light of Protection I carry it strong. No ill wishes can come along. You can not harm me or weaken my soul. My light is my protection and peace is my Goal. “

  • toni says:

    I recently contacted a soul mate I have not seen in 11 years. We are talking and getting to know each other again. We separated neither wanted to but circumstances in our lives were different very painful. Our parents needed us for different reasons. He is now working on himself spiritually emotionally. My ? is. I love him, I have always loved him. I feel a yearning for him and I feel happy excited scared. He brings the happiness love and joy. I feel he wants this too and I do not want to loose an opportunity to be with him. I was considering another man but he is irritating. He knows everything and he has done everything more intensely then you. ANNOYING. I am loosing interest.

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