If Setting Boundaries Burns Bridges, I Have Matches

By July 18, 2021 Uncategorized

Hello beautiful soul…

How are you doing lately?

I know, you are likely right in the middle of it…

Your world is changing as your life is whirling inside of a vortex of different possibilities…

So much of the life dynamics happening in front of you…

Life is asking you where do you give your power away?

In your relationship with self and your relationships with others—where have you given your power away?

Yes, as I wrote on my wall today…

“If setting boundaries burns bridges with folks, then I have matches… we ride at dawn”

Kind of funny, yet very much the energy I’m sensing…

Feeling so many of those who are choosing their own well-being FIRST so they can be sustainable and sovereign in their relationships and life situations.


And by the way, YOU are the one to define the boundaries and lines others can’t go into with you — you are the one to let others “affect” you.

It’s up to you how you use your being, space, time, resources, and energy.

Do not fall back on old emotional patterns for security.

You’re past that now.

Yes, you are maybe feeling the intensity this summer to uplevel, unlike any other year…

There’s a lot of pressure around us all needing to shed our old stories of disappointment, hurts, and trauma in order to take responsibility for our energy in the unfolding of the new…

Yes, your understanding of wants and needs, how you self-identify, and your untapped possibilities as you meet reality as it is, has evolved…

And you must let go of the story of how you thought it would be…

So you can open up to what is here and now.

Nourish what you need, trust yourself and do the work. Consistent, persistent self-care will get you through!

It’s up to you, what you create from here…

For many, I am feeling life begin to stabilize a bit after the summer’s energy and events.

And still, for many, I feel things are a little uprooted in their own ‘endings and new beginnings’ cycle.

Overall I’m feeling a lot of growth, resolution, and new, stable foundations beginning!

You are doing better than you think and I am cheering you on to say take care of your being and energy!

So that you are right in YOU first, before anything else.

And then focused and engaged on the right things and movements in life, from your core.

So focus on self-care, what nourishes you, your own daily routines, exploring “what healthy boundaries mean for you these days” and loving yourself through the process.

Boundaries meaning “doorways to understanding and ultimately connection” instead of boundaries meaning build brick walls and security fences.

And doorways to skillful communication.

And yes…

Even when things are better or improving, it can still be really hard sometimes.

Yet to honor it is key.

Because what you need is inside the process.

What you need is inside you, too. You = full-on facing what is, fully engaged, lit up toward what you are willing to create…

Just even being focused and engaged and lit.

Your most powerful days are the ones you keep choosing that your life, IS your own!

And I am feeling it big time!

No apologies or excuses.

Only a gift that is yours…

An amazing journey. A choice.

You can make peace with the past. Yet it doesn’t happen by pushing it down or turning away…

It happens through honoring it just as it is. And then, supporting and nurturing something new.

And at times, we just need the reminder to keep going and to follow through with what we already know deep within.

So if you’ve been showing up and it feels uncomfortable, trust you are on track and keep showing up…

To allow the learning process of discovering what you authentically need…

(Btw, this Cancer new moon energy over the past week has been just that…)

Slowing down and getting into a deeper connection with what authentically matters.

Aware of my healthy boundaries and what energy I am allowing in so that I am more aware of my inner resources.

And with the Sun moving into Cancer next to Mercury’s direct energy in Cancer, we’re all experiencing the opportunity to slow down and digest the events of the last many weeks…

An invitation into your body’s senses so you can connect with the intelligent info you need…

Even explore more of what nourishes, resets, and nurtures you, regardless of the external?

If not, maybe you feel like you’re at the almighty end of burnout?

And if this is so, can you honor the dignity in this just as it is, for example, your tiredness?

Can you listen and hear from the present possibility?

Just like anything — any wound or memory or trauma, you don’t want to push it away, for it contains medicine or some sort of intelligence…

Imagine what would ‘it’ might tell you instead?

Even your tiredness is honorable and contains magic and healing power.

We have to look at it to heal it.

We must look at it in order to change it.

We cannot heal what we are not willing to see or feel or touch.

Even avoiding conflict is a way of avoiding connection.

Yes, feeling so many are stepping out of their comfort zone to try something new right now…

I see those who have been feeling resistant, stuck, confused, lost, trapped — or even those facing obstacles are opening up in some new way and it is inspiring me as I face my own obstacles!

Things are changing…

I feel the ‘new beginning’ you or I or many of us have asked for is here in some way…

Yet now that the opportunity is here, can we be stripped naked, feel vulnerable and STILL DELIVER it to ourselves?

In other words, can we actually receive what is here for us?

Even if it means we must process the ending and completion of the old?

As you know, new beginnings are often connected to painful endings…

Allow yourself to fully feel and grieve so that you can, also feel, what’s beyond that.

You have been asking for a better life in some way through your being and actions and now there is an opportunity, do you see it?

I trust you do.

Nurture and nourish and tie up leaky spaces, your boundaries, your inner resources and deepen or get in touch with a daily practice.

I’ll be releasing my new video on the blog soon called on 8 Ways To Self Regulate if you’re stressed, triggered, angry, overwhelmed, anxious, stuck, numb, or feeling unsafe…

So please practice and keep giving me your feedback. I love reading your emails.

But yes, it’s fine to recognize your power is within you and never left you, yet you must be aware and grounded.

2021, time to stop abandoning ourselves.

If you are not fully occupying your body, then who or what is?

The price for sovereignty and freedom (and real love) is radical self-responsibility.

Not to blame, lean on, shame, punish, or persecute.

There’s none of that when operating through present being; seeing from your heart field, anyway.

Only what must return back home, what must be fed, what must be released and mulched back down…

It’s a process that includes honor.

And it’s time to stop abandoning ourselves.

Honor the whole journey and process. Even the down.

There is nowhere to get, only a deeper understanding within so you are more able to create without.

Plus there’s freedom in realizing that there’s no end station to reach…

There is no point at which we arrive at a fully fixed and known self that stays static.

There is always more to discover because we are infinite beings. There’s no limit to this universe, nature, or us.

Your new beginning is here, it is up to each of us if we wish to welcome it and evolve or succumb to fear and stay where we are.

The more you allow to face reality as it is, illusions will expose themselves so you can leave behind what isn’t real and step up, own your light and welcome the changes you need even if it seems scary at first.

Honor it.

Sometimes the things that seem so impossible to shift at first, are the things that will impact us the most for the better…

When the immovable forces everything in your life to shift, you have a choice.

Do you choose to see what is hard to change as a rejection, punishment, or refusal?

Or do you choose to see it as a way to inspire your perspective as a catalyst of growth?

These repeating patterns are catalysts of growth that you cannot let go of until you’ve fully integrated your next version of YOU.

It all happens when you shift your awareness from…

“Why is this happening to me? Get me out of here!” to

“Thank you for this experience, I honor you… I trust the feedback I am receiving and I have the power to know myself and choose: create!”

Everything is happening for your greatest growth, prosperity, and evolution if you choose it.

Yes. Trusting your own experience is valid and legitimate regardless of another person’s take on it. Good to keep in mind.

I feel like I need to say this for some reason…

Anyone who shoves their belief system down another person’s throat fighting to prove “what’s right” is only a projection of the insecurities or doubts that they have within.

True power stands still I am learning…

It doesn’t need to move, shout… it doesn’t waver or need to prove itself.

Millions have died throughout history because of the need to be right.

Allow what YOU experience to take up the space and be your first priority in understanding things.

From this place, we can respect each other’s sovereignty and freedom to choose.

By the way with all the daily practices and nervous system exercises as well as all the conversation around Energetic Hygiene I want to be clear about something…

The “goal” with being grounded in your body if there even was one isn’t to always be calm, regulated, and neutral all the time.

The point isn’t to not try to get triggered. Or to be a robot.

The point is to be able to experience the present moment FULLY, free from the past.

THIS beautiful soul is where your power lives.


Crystal Aryana
Tarot Reading Daily

PS. If you already read this article already then you’ve had some time to digest it. I’d love to know your feedback here, I will be replying to all comments on the blog until further notice! Tell me what you think…

(Art by Caroline Maniere)

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana


  • Serena says:

    Why does growth have to be so painful???? Thank you for your insightfulness and wisdom. Your message was timely and helped me more than words can express. In times of absolute exhaustion and when you feel like you`ve done everything your journey is asking of you …. why does it feel like the choice to just STOP call with such power and with visions of peace? I will save your message and read it again and again. I can not STOP … pause perhaps but I will be mindful of your self care suggestions … Thank you xo

  • Hassan Ezzemouri says:

    Hassan Ezzemouri says:
    Wow, exactly what I am going thru now, thank you for your advice and powerful and wonderful meaning.
    Everything you say is happening now in my life, about forget the past and step forward with your trust.

  • Andries says:

    Consistency, persistence and selfcare, and indeed honoring one’s challenges and obstacles as lessons instead of blockages or failures. Thank you and my Mother Nature guide and bless us

  • CAREY Jackson says:

    thankyou for your insightful words and positive attitude so much of what you have spoken I find very helpful and true to whats been happening with me for bless you

  • Carla says:

    I needed to read/hear your advice. Most of it is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. You really do have a gift and a talent and you use it in the most positive way! Thank you for your comforting words!

  • Ginny says:

    I just went through this. I was sick but still tried to help someone else and got nothing but grief for my efforts so I took a break from this person. I also retreated to rest in green space by myself and told myself not to feel guilty for needing time to myself. I live a life of service, professionally and personally, and I need to recharge in quiet nature.

  • Christine says:

    I truely understand what you mean in general. I burnt a bridge today to stop a person from being able to get to me. Unfortunately I have experienced to many downs by traumatic events this past 5 yrs. And one I believed to be helping and supporting, has actually been to toxicity engulfing me. I have lost myself in the process. Ive now set the boundary. But i feel confused. Or scared sick of failing again.
    Narcissistic encounters on a daily basis has me fractured. Its like ,, I know I have to get up, but im paralysed.

  • Dina Molina says:

    I really truly feel that this message is for me. I feel like you know me so well and want to help guide me to push forward and not backwards. I need to let go of the past so I can grow and excel in my life. I don’t know if I make sense. I have made so many mistakes and still struggle with things. But deep down I am a good person and want nothing but the best for others. I need to step up and want the best for me.
    Thank you for this . Thank you…

  • Debbie says:

    Yes it is happening for our Greatest Growth. But whatever it is some of us still are wishing for the things we want even if it’s from the long ago past. Also new things .I don’t want to be selfish but some times there doesn’t seem to be more justice.

  • Shamika Hardy says:

    Great article. I will be practicing!

  • Joseph says:

    Just the best thing i have read in a long time

  • Dominique says:

    Perfect post but the tarot reading keep saying a man is for me…I am a man an I don’t find nothing in a man outside of me!

  • Mary Hagan says:

    Crystal you are amazing, I just found you recently. I feel blessed to be open to receiving your gifts. The relationship that brought me to you was the one with my self, although I am married and often ask about that relationship too. I am pondering your clarification about boundaries – “doorways to understanding and ultimately connection” vs boundaries as walls… would love to have more guidance on this! Also learning about “grounding” – how to be PRESENT, honor the thoughts and feelings by disconnecting the hardwire to my ego/ limiting patterns and finding how to connect more fully with the universe. I am truly grateful for you Crystal.

  • Harriet Crummy says:

    Good morning and thank you so very much for the reading. It accurately touched on so much of what I have been going through lately, and it all made since during this time. Thank you for the inspiration and the comments on the areas that I need to work on. Thank you for confirmation within your post. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Charlotte says:

    Really Powerful! Needed to comprehend this at this time! Trying to release bad energies and relationships! I need a fresh start! And this was the “The Prescription!” Thank You

  • Michelle Smith says:

    Many thanks for your insights and wisdom. We are in the most expansive time of change and advancement and we are being asked to autopsy our lives and create the life we want ‘by design’. It takes courage and deliberateness and you have the most wonderful way of reaffirming for me, just where I am in my own ‘roadtrip of life’.

    Divine blessings,

  • Kista Berthelsen says:

    Hej Crystal Aryana
    Mange tak, jeg har ikke fundet det jeg leder efter endnu.
    mvh Kista

  • Kevin says:

    Thank you.

  • Tyshonda says:

    Loveeeeeee the Quote & message right on point!!! Congratulations to new bundle of joy

  • Chantal says:

    It common sense but I wouldn’t of think of it the past is gone now its day by day ad what I need in this life and that’s LOVE. And HAPINESS THAT WHAT WANT and when I think of the an want I feel different inside exited its a good feeling and I no that man i want he is my soulmate I wish he coe ad talk to me instead f avoiding me

  • Janice says:

    Thank you so much – I learned to shift my thinking from “Why is this happening to me”? to “Thank you for the experience”. Very powerful.

  • I Have been through this and it was very hard. I have been practicing being present for the past several months; and am finally getting stability and strength in my life., Thank you.

  • Gina says:

    Wow. Thank you. I am going through so much right now. This speaks volumes for me, helped me to relax into myself a little bit more. To trust the process and know that all is well. Thank you again.

  • Ken Mabry says:

    I understand now why I hear repeatedly to just be still in the moment, and never had any thought about grounding myself for this reason . I always was thinking of grounding for protecting myself from bad energy. I’ve held on to people and things from the past that are leaving no space for the present. Memories are only memories , but today has to happen and it needs me whole heartedly to be present. Crystal this is life changing for me what you have written about grounding. I am leaving the past, and all the fears that need to be left behind me and start living in the present where life and creation exist. Thank you.

  • Brandi says:

    This was very powerful. I feel energy spiraling in my chest and a new beginning on the horizon. But I’m not sure how I’m going to shift or when because I don’t feel ready. But this blog spoke to my heart and soul.

  • Annehilda Wright says:

    You are a sparkling light in all the darkness of the world. Thank you for your guidance in the past few weeks. It has left me with a profound new awakening, one that has me fully aware, seeing things for the first time, things I’ve looked at but not seen and the sheer delight of having eyes wide open. I still have to break through some personal barriers although I feel much more confident of success now. Thank you for all your help.

  • David says:


  • Jenny says:

    I want to thank you for your words of wisdom. I needed this . I gained so much clarity from this, and i appreciate it❤

  • Michelle Mackie says:

    Thank you
    I’m in the process now to travel to find me. My past has always affected my present and I want to heal and release. Your words were so on point and I need all the inspiration I can get. Again thank you

  • Ani says:

    Wow! This message couldn’t have come at a better time! Spot on!

  • Jessy says:

    “Your most powerful days are the ones you keep choosing that your life, IS your own!”……this part is intriguing

  • Birthe Pedersen says:

    Spot on with current issues…
    Utter humility give us the oppotunity to
    Keep learning
    Thank you for Sharing

    Crystal Aryana

  • Karen says:

    A beautiful message from a beautiful soul. Thank you so much. Love Karen.

  • Fiona Osemwenkha says:

    Wow I really enjoy getting your tarot readings …. … Every message you send to me talks directly to me and I want to thank you for the enlightenment that you’ve brought me ❤️
    I did burn my boundaries
    I am willing to make a change and be better

  • Kenneth Rhinehart says:

    You are a divine soul doing the work needed to raise the vibration. I’m impressed with your passion to will others to see. While most are in a cloud and can’t see. You inspire me to keep up with my lessons on frequency crystals and my reiki practice. I feel lifted and ready for the next wave to come crashing in. Because I’m in my power I am aware in this moment right now. So alive, grateful, joyful, happy and at peace. YES!!!

  • Cassandra says:

    Am really so grateful.this blog as been so helpful it’s as if you had me in mind

  • Gonzalo says:

    True and beautiful. Thank you. Earth experience is deep and mysterious. Love

  • Kay Dinath says:

    My dear Aryana ♥ I love you for reaching deep into my soul & making that powerful connection. I am in touch with my inner self & have found the beautiful person living within me. Thank you. 2020 & 2021 have been rhe most trying years in my life & conquering my fears of being alone has given me full insight to the wonderful spiritual side that Ive discovered. Please keep on inspiring me

  • Phetogo Geraldine says:

    Powerful yet motivating ♥️such encouraging words. I’m lifted

  • I face every day with gratitude. Everything is a lesson to learn, it just depends on how we face it. I am grateful for the changes in my life. I am greatful for the journey that I am on. Boundaries must be set and respected. That is the only way to honor the people in your life.

  • susan says:

    I believe you are spot on with what is being said here in this article. People don’t get real with themselves. They continuely push it all down, look the other way, pretend its not there, and then look for their validation outside of themselves. The truth is what sets you free. Look at it, own it and take responsibility for it. That is how it gets resolved. And no matter how much energy you put into trying any other way, there is no other way and this is how you unlock your power and this is what changes your life. If it is fear based, it is not God. It is built on quicksand and it will not work. So you might as well get real with yourself and save yourself a lot of time.
    Thanks for listening.

  • Audrey Rhines says:

    I love your spirit, and honesty, some of your wisdom really hits home. You always brighten my day, I love it!

  • Susana says:

    Yes! Our choice to respond in a different way than the expected or the normal. Respond in a way that is presente and authentic to us and make us right what we are, what we came to be.
    Beautifully and inspiringly written. Thank you!

  • Clara says:

    I was moved by this…. Thanku so much because it showed methere is no greater love than self love! Thanks

  • Dana says:

    Aryana Aryana Aryana, were you speaking directly to me or in this time I’m feeling and saying all these same things? I actually went through a phase of feeling like I let my power get away from me and I wasn’t grounded. I am NOW doing my self care to protect my boundaries!!! However, you are awesome a beautiful divine soul!!! I have been reading your emails and blogs some time now.. You have helped me in soo many ways, I truly thank you my friend! 😉

  • Iam very happy about here readings the tarot cards and full your instructions and advice. So no words it for more explain. Really very very thanks honey crystal Aryana.

  • Brandi+N+Smith says:

    This message in it’s entirety is truly enlightening and so ON POINT. I much needed to hear this. Right on time Dear. Thank you for ALL of your shared inspiration

  • Anette says:

    Thank you dear! This is what I exactly need to hear today. I´m in darkness and facing thousands problems on my way from leaving my old life to my new future because I had to burn bridges to set new boundaries for my own good. I´m an empath that run out of energy from giving and giving to a narcissist. I still love him , but have to move on . He ruined me in all kind of ways. Your words give me hope to go on and have faith not fear .

  • We must all practice self love because without self love we can’t truly give sincere love to others. We must consider our world being in any relationship that we’re involved in and any goal that we are trying to attain. Everything absolutely everything starts from within. I love this my sister I love the truths that you gave. May your day hold you tight with much happiness peace love and tranquility.

  • Hi,that was very useful information.I have been going through a big change.I now realize that I do have someone coming back from the past.I realize that our breakup was very bad.But I also realize that it was meant to be that way.It made me do a lot of soul searching to really see myself and what I have been in denial about.I know a lot of it was my fault.I was probably brainwashed and he was more spiritually developed than me.I was not fair to him or his needs.I know I did a lot wrong that caused it.I know he has suffered because of what has happened.We both have suffered this lifetime.I just thank God I saw the light.I am now seeing the truth and I know he was right the whole time.I am sorry that he has had to suffer.I want to fix it.I know he is my world.I know we still have some rough waters to tread,and I am much tougher and stronger now.I do not get brainwashed as easily.I just hope he realizes how much I have changed and that I have looked deep within and I know my faults.I know he needed me to be more.He needed me to be as strong as him.I didn’t listen and it caused a terrible tragedy for both of us.I have forgiven him.I just hope he can forgive me.I don’t want our foundation to burn.I know I can be what he needs now.This lifetime has really showed me a lot.And it has toughened me up a lot.I just hope he knows that I love him very much and the blame is not on him.Thank you for your advice.It has been very helpful.

  • Gracel nathan says:

    Well I being raped my son was taken away from me and I am been treated like a prostitute in my sleep, someone is pimping me when I fall asleep because it’s hard to wake me up and I was left to dead on the streets and now I got away from them which is the police they still wanna make my life a living hell….

  • Teresa says:

    Hi Crystal! I so admire your gift and inspiration, your guidance always come at the right time and moment. You speak life into me and get me back on track. Thank you so much for everything that you do and say

  • Bradley says:

    A beautiful message. I have been experiencing an awakening to the New Life, as I call it, in unexpected ways. A door is opening to this New Life in ways that I never expected that have enormous potential for the near future and beyond. Years of bitter chaos, darkness, and the abiding misery that stems from all of that has been my norm. But now, it is like the sun is shining brightly just at the horizon of this New Life I am about to embark into, and how grateful I am it is so. Blessings from above to you!

  • Joan says:

    These past few weeks I feel that I am spinning out of control. Every part of my life is spinning out of control and as an Aries control is very important to me. I feel as though I’m coming to the end of a very important part of my life and I’m not sure where I am moving on to.

  • Judy Moffett says:

    Spot on with current issues… I’m working on being better version of myself and setting boundaries … being able to say NO is hard..

  • Emma says:

    Wow what a read … very insightful deep and so on point
    Sometimes all we can do is light a match and let it burn to the ground,accept it for what it is and move on.
    It doesnt always need to be spoken or lit up, sometimes rebirth is quiet and even more powerful.
    All we can do is take it day by day moment to moment and follow the things that make your heart smile until one day we realise it doesnt hurt anymore
    Thank you o much for this post …. totally loved reading it

  • Julia says:

    I am so stealing the quote!!!! I loved it and your blog!

  • Jan S says:

    I needed to hear this message today. It’s not an easy one and I admit I am struggling to Let Go and see what is next. I’m afraid of what I may realize about myself, but I guess even if it’s ugly, it’s the first step to changing it. My problem is I don’t feel as if I have the tools to make some of the changes I know I need to in order to have the Life that I want.

  • Aditya says:

    Life is really uncertain. I am facing toughest time of my life. My father lost his job during pandemic. But the only thing which is keeping me up is HOPE.
    Really never lose this gift of nature everything will be good once again.

  • Velma Love says:

    This is so beautiful!
    Thank you for sharing these very timely words.

  • Erin r Ludwig says:

    Totally on target for my current struggles. Thanks for the inspiration. Blessed be.

  • Brenda says:

    Life is funny and yes it is what you make it. You are a wonderful and blessed inspiration your caring and loving ways always inlighten me. I appreciate all your help. Sending love and hugs. Hugs for your beautiful daughter ♥️✝️⭐️

  • Jean says:

    This spoke to my current situation. I do not need to wave my arms, shout, or continue to contact to get attention. I need to quieter my insecurity. I need to move my life forward. Thank you for the inspiration! — Jean

  • Christy Fletcher says:

    Very powerful words, you have a wonderful gift. I definitely see life differently non.w

  • Owel Samuel says:

    How can you helped me

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