Energy Update: Divine Feminine Renewal

By April 19, 2019 Energy Update
divine feminine

Wow loves …

A time of liberating magic out of our deepest wounds and mothering amongst deep pressure —

There’s a sense of fragility in the air, feeling WIDE open and this is the exact energy we need to let go of the old, and step into the new…

There is so much dismantling going on inside of me right now. Seismic shifts, wild epiphanies and quiet truths that well up in the smallest moments that keep cracking me wide open.

There are beliefs I have held, consciously and unconsciously, for longer than I know. Many years, or even many lifetimes. I’ve held them tight, fists clenched around them – as if the ideas themselves needed protection from the onslaught of the world..

And at the same time my soul knows that control isn’t free, isn’t love, isn’t innately powerful…

It reminds me that we’re all on some level at this crossroads of Radical Alchemy and liberation back to our deepest power and wholeness —even in the pain, discomfort, disconnection and conditioning.

We’re moving from fear and separation to love and unity and in order to do this you must turn inward and see where you love from a place of fear and where you are split against yourself — where you must face truth to know how to love and rise from love.

For so many of you this portal of energy since the last Libra 0° Full Moon has been extremely revolutionary in how you see yourselves and others (if you have allowed it).

How the masculine and feminine “meet” inside us, the energy and physical, our conscious and unconscious, right and left brain.

This is a deepest surrender “believe in yourself” cross roads and the choice is up to you:

It’s Decision Time

Time to choose what you want to bring with you into your new world from here. Who you choose to be around you, absorb you, taste you and experience you.

The only thing that will stop you from stepping forward with the new is if your ego is too stubborn (and you are too focused on fear, control or old mental framework).

Once you understand how your wounds held power over you or how you gave your own power away you consciously and energetically retrieve these parts of your soul back to wholeness.

And now is the time and just this afternoon, the Full Moon reached its peak in Libra for the second full moon in a row as its soul retrieval time and we can’t escape our own mirror if our heart calls for it.

It’s interesting because it took me two days to write this — a night of crawling around in the moon until 3:00 am and then all day organizing words in the sun.

I know in my soul I had to allow ease into this one and fully trust — even in the depths of the unknowing coming up. I even took a nap today to allow my subconscious to go to work for me.

That’s because, this energy isn’t about “pushing through grinding, repressing or hiding” … it’s about letting the energy surprise you and show you how to better “Mother you” …

This past week and moon was intense for many I know depending on where the 29 Libra moon, 29 Aries sun and 2 Uranus (in Taurus) is in your birth chart.

Because that’s what the energy is about:

Receptivity, Regeneration and Sustainability

This double Libra full moon specifically is about the process of our own mirror in life, and our mirrors in others/relationships. It has to do with sitting with and facing truth just as it is along with deepest surrender, wholeness, alchemy and transformation.

This is a very powerful time for radical forgiveness, alchemy, seeing the whole and using all of it for higher good.

Look back to this exact time last year what lessons and processes were coming up against?

You may find this time to be a point where you are breaking away and pioneering, so long as you don’t go back to sleep.

If you feel cracked open, under pressure, vulnerable, retracting or losing their footing — this is tension and resistance:

The ego is breaking down its controls so that soul can step in BIGGER ways you can surrender into — as the moon is highlighting the tension between the false control of the ego, with the newness to come.
How’s Your Mind Lately?

What truths have been showing up for you the past week?

You may find that the energy right now is bringing up a lot of attachment issues, anxiety and avoidance behaviors in yourself (and those around you).

Protection mechanisms are triggered at this time, forcing the ego to exhaust all options to try to regain control.

This may mean burying your head in the sand and ignoring real problems outright… or burying your heart in lies of how you really feel… forcing you to carry out your delusions and act like you don’t care.

Those who refuse to feel right now are in for a rude awakening. If you are not in touch with your emotions during this time, you will be hit much harder by this influence than others.

Instead, this is about flipping it around. Allowing the energy to surprise you — going straight in when the breaking point happens of “enough suffering” happens …

This takes courage, and opens you into an expanded place. It humbles you, loosens the ego and lets soul light in…

However, most people would rather swim across the ocean than feel into their heart when there’s pain.

Everyone has a different way of handling it. But now is the time where you must face it. Don’t fear the fear or fear the pain — the idea of fear is worse than the real thing.

This is about wholeness of what REAL just as it is — in the body — not feeding into the mind. This energy will be earth shattering if you are ignoring it, trying to control with your mind or repressing how you feel. This energy has been tough to people sticking their head in the sand. It’s reminding you that you can’t bypass. You must evolve or repeat.

You will either make the same mistakes from last year at this time or you will birth something new. That’s because, right now, the Ego is worn down, and ready to purge.

And it’s doing everything it can to keep itself alive. These two double Libra moons has given us the reality into a mini portal of who we think we are, and who we really are.

Codependency Patterns Are Highlighted Now

This is why we have to let go of control and surrender, even though there’s such an impulse to get the new direction, get the answers, take action and put tougher the pieces.

To allow to focus our energies on the right things so that we can transmute everything high or low and allow it to serve our highest good.

Since the energy is so vulnerable, many are going to want to control, stuff emotions, control each other, and possess things to make them secure through fear. Fear based control. Control isn’t love, freedom, empowerment or strength.

Control is a sense of holding us captive – like a possession – or when we think “we know best.” It’s the sense that our finite minds know better than the infinite Universe. As if the mind is where we get our answers from, but that’s wrong. The mind tells us a story about the world in order to make sense out of reality. It’s completely bias and only benefits itself.

Codependency is the same. It’s not love, its control — an ego desire to master. Yet the deeper impulse is really about mastering yourself and the ability to really be in love with life and yourself.

These fear based patterns are being highlighted right now, giving you the chance to hit up against the discomfort and still push through. To surrender into what you don’t know. And to nurture yourself in the process.

A lot of stuff coming up for people has to do with last April, what were you coming up against last year at this time? This is a breaking point away from that.

What you were going through last April you may finally feel like you are liberating and breaking away from that. Since the last new moon , it’s been a pioneering energy to find your way. To find your own footsteps. This is kundalini energy. Divine energy of being a trailblazer. Do not go back to old ways.

Letting go of all our codependency patterns, ego external based dependencies so that you really are rising from within.

We are rising together. We are realizing our desire for control is really just blocking our ability to receive the new and to experience innate power and true love.

We are rising from rising feminine inside us all. Collapsing old paradigms and power controls so we can come from love and authenticity and be CERTAIN of the messages we receive.

Surrender Is The Answer

Until we surrender we can’t receive the higher messages from Spirit, and will stay stuck.

Only when you surrender, the more the answers, the things you’ve been wanting to get your hands on, or the thing you’ve been wanting to understand, can arrive.

We receive higher mind answers/body wisdom when we have understood and experienced ourselves and when we’ve let the ego go. When we let the gates down, exhaust our drama and stop trying to be the dictator of our own lives, things change.

We start collaborating, receiving and conspiring with the universe when we stop pre writing our life out on how things need to happen — how women are, how a man needs to be, how we think others need to love or be in their roles for us to be happy — are all forms of imprisonment beckoning true freedom from you.

These imprisonments come in the form of messages asking us for freedom, not to stay further entrapped.

It’s time to FACE the truth and BE, even if it’s painful — yet don’t let your ego define anything …

THIS is where your soul retrieving power lives, giving you clarity and direction, liberating you to new ways you couldn’t see before …

Yet not until you take a breathe, surrender and release and let the river of life take you. This is about witnessing and receiving a different vantage point where seeing bigger with your mind only comes from heart expansion.

You are at the choice point where you can change— where you can surrender and allow grace in.

Nothing is set in stone. Everything is somehow healable. Nothing defines us, in truth. Even the biggest stories of our lives. Even the most deep-seated, traumatic pieces. Nothing is fated. Even karma has a farewell day. You have the power to take another path and claim your power.

If you are stagnant, you need more movement. Opportunities can only be seen and accepted when we have surrendered ourselves — when we stop trying to be the jailor of our own lives and our own story lines of what we think is possible and how it needs to happen.

We need to stop trying to manhandle our storyline. No more saying “This is supposed to be this way, this is supposed to be that way. Why isn’t someone doing this? Why is it not like this?”

These are all forms of imprisonment. Messages coming to you in the form of pain struggle and strife. Really messages beckoning you for freedom. But not until you take a breath and surrender, release and let go. Let the lights of the river take you with it. And when you trust what will come to you and allow it to surprise you (and not be something you could have prewritten) it will come.

If you label something as bad, then you are in a state of resistance. True surrender is not blocking what is, just as it is. How can we sit with our feelings without deconstructing?

This is what will allow us to transcend into a higher place, turning what may be seen as bad (or at least uncomfortable) into something good.

No matter what…

Spirit Wants To Lead Us Back Home

It means not blaming yourself and making yourself wrong. Not getting frustrated. Just being able to sit with yourself and feel.

Be conscious of where you want to clench up, numb out or check out lately and sit with it. Hear it out. Where are you unconsciously yet actively blocking yourself from joy?

Where we hold the most pain and struggle is where we need to RECEIVE expanded input beyond where we are mentally blocked.

Feel the tension, slow down, witness and notice where resistance shows up and where you need to be loved.

The wound is where you are most meant to be loved and moved through it’s karma — but you have to walk through this doorway and face its truth.

I feel this to be a very powerful Divine Feminine Full Moon rising time as the False Feminine burns away.

You have the ability to see your old patterns for what they are right now, and you can see that they’re not sexy anymore.

Patterns that are needy, needing to have all the answers, are hungry, are clingy. Where are you holding yourself to old ideas of power and love? What lessons do you want to take with you?

The difference is your own High Priestess. The unseen energies. How we are able to resurrect death into life — yet this potent surrender happens only when we arrive from self worth. The lessons must be aligned from within to build and create instead of just remind us of where we are stuck.

What can we build and create instead of control?

It’s time it surrender more deeper than ever before. The more you surrender, the more you let go of control, the more the very answers you’ve been seeking all along find you effortlessly in the flow.

To land all the reward of the long hard dark tunnel you’ve been in … to understand all of what you’ve so deeply wanted to know … to physically get your hands on what your been building can only happen after surrender.

Make Truce With The Past

This is the time to sit with the discomfort and pain and move forward with it. Be very conscious where you are wanting to clench up, hide out, numb out, check out, have control and escape.

Sit with it. Hear it out. Be with it. Be in your being with it. I promise you don’t need to fear an idea of the real thing.

You don’t have to worry if this energy is going to erupt your whole life. That’s not what this is about. This is about witnessing yourself at a profound level, as if you can step outside of yourself and look at yourself from a different vantage point.

Sure, this can feel overwhelming because there’s tons of information coming in from this full moon. But the point is to surrender completely, and to allow grace in.

Stop trying to make others do your bidding, as they are the actors in your own play, and you are the director.

Really be with yourself.

Your inner dictator may want to come up and shut you down, and have a say in how things go. But just remember to go to your heart and surrender.

This is a time of finding your sweetest gentle surrender, and realizing your need for control is actually blocking yourself from experiencing profound power and true love. Not only within yourself, but with others that you share the table with.

Where we hold the most resistance is often where our greatest revolutionary power is. And it also happens to be where we’re calling for the most love and grace.

We can’t forget that even in the muck, it’s important to feel that tension and resistance, because it’s truly where we are meant to be loved the most, and experience love the most. Yet we have to find that doorway that takes us into that space.

So if you feel like you’ve been feeling pressured lately, as I wrote about in my other posts, know that it’s a good thing.

Really, Genuinely Take Care Of Yourself

PLEASE be gentle and be kind. That may sound too simple but it’s not.

This has been an emotionally intense, and difficult year for a lot of people. And I know for many, the last couple of months have made people feel like shutting down, completely retracting or feel like they’re losing their footing.

Some of course who’ve been committed for years to doing your soul mission work and you may find this time has been finally paying off as you climb into new place you’ve never been. Still, allow the energy to surprise you and stretch you.

And last others may have been experiencing this time as a nest egg, with the need to slow down, take care of yourself and regroup in goop, like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly (reminds me of metamorphosis and how the caterpillar deconstructs into goop before crystallizing its new body and wings).

This reminds me of the fragility of this time — the sense that we are unarmed and naked — and at the same time taking immaculate care of ourselves (because you could be open, fragile and homeless too on the street not taking care of yourself, that’s not what I mean).

Yet it’s when you are raw, real, naked and unguarded AND you are empowered at the same time that makes all the difference.

That’s the kind of unstoppable kundalini energy of this planet within us all that keeps a man and woman WILD, close to nature and close to our soul.

Make sure or receive extra care of your body and take care of your finances. Take care of the budding divine spark inside you, not letting you go.

Ask yourself:

-How are you cultivating and focusing your energy
-Where are you investing it?
-How are you using your thoughts and vibration for your benefit?
-What story are you telling yourself and what words are you saying?
-Are your words honest and raw or are they full of wounded false positivity and BS?

Stop pretending, hiding and distracting. Stop chasing what’s outside of you. Face truth, sit with your feelings and transform from the inside out.

Be with your pain. You can’t be focused on others. This is about alchemy and transformation.

Make your strength be fully rooted in your vulnerability and kindness — knowing all the high and low is working out for your highest good. When it’s tough — flow instead of resist.

If you feel like crap but then make it “wrong” to feel that way — you label yourself or the experience as “negative” or “bad” and when you do this you can’t be authentic to “what is just as it is” and you put yourself into a state of denial, inauthenticity and resistance.

This means because your core (heart) and feelings around a truth are not flowing as they should it literally BLOCKS your ability to receive what you DO want … When you flow, it’s because you are aligned authentically; you are creative and free.

When you ALLOW yourself to feel the truth of reality as it is and allow it to be — witnessing without judgement, you’re present and FREE from a place of total possibility.

If you feel the egos urge to control, just remember: Stop defining, refining and storytelling. Instead CREATE, claim and step into your unseen power.

Let these truths that have been coming to you IN all the way. Allow the info to catch you, surprise you, and bring in the love that is meant for you – even in the breakdown.

And I promise it will be a lot better for you, especially the moments where you take a deep breath, and are truly there for yourself. You mother and father yourself.

The inner child of the earth is asking for our help …

Divine Mother is asking for your help …

Are you willing to claim your inner worth and happy?


Just as you are — not waiting for some future arrival?

Yes, you can. And you are.

I trust in you

With Love,

Crystal Aryana

P.S. What has your experience been this week?  Is there something you want to release control of?  Please let me know on the comment section below <3

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana

Hi, my name is Crystal. Since an early age, I've felt a strange connection to the Universe, so I spent my entire life seeking out mentors and teachers to help me harness my gift. Since then, I've been reading tarot cards, channeling messages and healing bodies around the world. Thank you for visiting my website and I hope to join you along your journey <3


  • Martha Ruvalcaba says:

    I just want to say im so glad i get the best guidance in the world iv been following you for about a year and a half maybe thank you so much from my haert and soul i thank you i already feel all the posotive thing that have happend lately in my life thanks to your guidance im growing as a women. Thank you again may the lord bless you

  • patricia oke says:

    hi sweetness a lot you have written about me has been spot on ,my sense of self ego has slowly leaving me now and im glad because now im feeling stronger mentally and am on a path of rightness , my love of god has kept my sanity over the corrupt people and company I have had dealings with ,my fear of losing has gone ,now I am fully on a mission to make sure my grand children will not be left to work in such a corrupt world god bless you and all those who live with passion of his guidance in them namaste my friend .trish oke

  • Amydaeng says:

    This message is what I needed to hear. Really an inspiration to so many that are going through hardship, yet unsure on how to express it. This makes me feel like I’m understood and not alone. Thank you so much

  • Viviane says:

    It is a long time I have left my angels guide me and follow what they want me to be.
    I don’t control my life I let the universe control it and give the love i need. With the new moon, I forgave completely the person who controlled me, and kept me in a cage. I forgot the past and I am open to the future, to the love I must receive and I receive.
    Every time you send me your thoughts that I need to read and understand what is happening to me when sometimes I am in the dark.

    Thank you Crystal, this time I understood everything.
    With love and light

  • Cristen says:

    It is amazing that everything you are saying hits me deep into my core . This is exactly where I am in my life , crossroads from old to new . You speak from the soul, what a beautiful writer you are. So much energy and positive spirit radiates from you. I truly enjoy your writings, they are powerful .

  • Rachel says:

    I am with this energy wave entirely. Feels so good to read what my spirit is experiencing and present to be aware. The alignment with this message today, a medicine healing energy through simple acknowledgement and too processing with a sweet heart friend. She is feeling it too 😉

  • Thanks Crystal.Very, very interesting.Your work it’s awesome.Helps to reflections.

  • Jennifer Garcia says:

    I been thinking all day about my past and my wrong doings owning up to them I have a lot of walls up and this is exactly what I needed to read at this very moment thank you.

  • Gizelle Williams says:

    Totally amazing! Such insight, cuts right to the core. I’ve absorbed all that’s said here and already feel the release and letting go. Thank you for your wisdom and kind sharing!

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