Hello beautiful soul…

I hope you are taking care of you no matter what is happening in your life.

For me, being a Mom with a teething toddler who just happens to never sleep, I’m learning by default how to take better care of myself (sleep 😅) in ways I never knew it could be.  

I can’t give to others from an empty cup, inner alignment first has never been so necessary. I still forget. 

I feel life is pushing me deeper into my most uncomfortable places as I learn, be and do what I’ve never been or done before…maybe you can relate? 

For me this looks like taking care of myself in a way that gives my body (and health) what it really needs amongst being a full-time Mom…

Tightening my container and bandwidth around no BS and in my own alignment. 

Even somewhat more gentle when an old wound I thought was fully healed still triggers me, giving myself the (neutrality) capacity in the moment to keep noticing on a body level and releasing.  

Yes + No’s are easier the times I am clear with my own truth and follow it, ie. boundaries

And maybe even make enough room (sometimes) to observe these resistances, gifts-in-disguise and flaws with a bit more compassion and patience.  

I am making the moves in my life right now so that I can continue to grow and operate in alignment with what’s true for me now…

Sure it’s one thing to subtly feel or know this stuff on a high level.

It’s another when you’re at your worst and you follow through and live it in your moment-to-moment way of being.  

Because it changes you forever; you open new doors. 

Goodness, this year so far has been such an ongoing death, soul retrieval, birthing and renewal…

As well as an excruciatingly awkward-powerhouse time of letting in the possibilities of what you’ve never seen before!

What is to come with you from here?

What or Who is to leave?

Do the lines in the sand of your mental landscape need to be amended to make space to invite newness in? 

Or strengthened to honor your inner sanctuary?

Whatever the case, this is your new beginning as you light up your desires, your intentions, your lifeforce and your actions into authentic alignment.

Reignite your spark and reevaluate your relationship to yourself and your life!

[Soul Update ♥️]:

Realize you’re not dying.  

There may be “deaths” happening within you. 

Yet maybe what you’re going through is a grand initiation testing every aspect of your soul in this life.  

This year has been such an intense and revealing journey of death and rebirth. 

A Spring wanting to bloom unlike any other!

So much uprooted and available to be processed, so much revealed to us.  

You know what you know, now, it’s about your will to align your actions to what you already know at heart. 

This is really a hard choice, take-no-prisoner time of getting into alignment kind of time right now…

Major “Lifepath” decision time, for many.  

Alignment first, yes.  

And then after, you define your path to action. 

Alignment first, then action.

Okay, well what if you’re facing resistance? 

If you keep facing resistance there’s a deeper and very important reason…

Because you will not need to keep forcing what is meant for you nor will you have to endure and suffer for it…

So first, let’s look at what resistance means? 

Feeling resistance within or externally in life comes down to misalignment in some way.  

Either you may be out of alignment with someone or something outside of you or two aspects of YOU are out of alignment with each other. 

Like anything else, there’s consequences for not being in alignment, especially when making decisions and taking actions from misalignment.  

Because of this, when met with any form of resistance, we mustn’t make ourselves “bad” or make it wrong…

If we do, it makes it hard to directly face the resistance with an open heart and curious eyes able to SEE what is misaligned that the resistance is suggesting.  

Really resistance ought to be heeded openly instead of treated as a problem.  

Just like there’s no need to demonize fear, there’s no need to demonize resistance.  

Fear is truly just an initiation into fearlessness, if you can embrace it fully. 

Same for what we resist. 

Meaning when you truly notice your resistance from the root, you are set free.  

You are also shown golden nuggets of insight into your own self-alignment…

It’s like giving you an antenna into your own intuition and body awareness of what you already know deep down. 

Or maybe resistance can also help you uncover what is fake or help you see a fear, an attachment, ideal or delusion for what it is.  

Like for example, no shame bringing into your awareness an old mindset you were using that is outdated or stuck in the past…

Or maybe observing/catching how you weren’t listening to your own truth and then switching things up.  

Or maybe a certain resistance is trying to tell you a deeper truth about something, what is it? 

Resistance always carries important information, there’s always a WHY to resistance.  

Knowing the WHY behind the resistance is key to taking the actions you need to take to fully own and embody your heart desires and ultimately move into alignment.  

So if you notice resistance, this means your resistance deserves to be treated as valid regardless of whether it is about something true or real or not.  

Investigate it, without judgment. 

The process of alignment also means noticing what parts of you still identify, participate and create resistance against your deepest desires.  

If we instead treat resistance with more resistance we then cannot then see, feel, hear, or understand why we resist in those ways so as to be able to arrive at a personal higher truth.  

For me, I’m still smack dab in the middle of this stilling-egg-womb phase of my current life transition and alignment…

Life feels pretty mysterious as the new unfolds, as I try what I haven’t before. 

For many, I know it’s been a painful birthing. Keep moving that energy. 

If it’s emotional and chaotic, let the storm move through you. 

For those who need to hear this right now, know you’ll emerge from this stronger than before with new choices and paths in front of you.  

Sometimes fully owning the grief is the fastest route to your truth: clarity. 

Whatever it may be for you, only YOU hold the key to you.  

Ask yourself, what parts are leaving after all of this and who is being born from it all?

“What is to come with me into the unfolding unknown?

What must I fully sacrifice and leave behind?”

The window of debate about this is closing for now and there’s a bridge to be crossed, which timeline do you choose? 

Right now I’m feeling those collectively moving from “me, me, me” to “we”…

Or in other words, moving from a disembodied, co-dependent law of attraction mentality to the space of Divine Reciprocity and Union through a creation-focused consciousness.  

In other words, those no longer trying to order something from the Universe without being the recipe of its own substance.

Because YOU (WE) ARE the Universe and accountable as the whole. 

There is no separation between you and creation; you are part of the creation and part of the creator. 

Father God/Mother/Source/Universe is part of the same organic photons that light up inside your heart, body and subtle energy of your entire being and field.  

Yes, God exists through you.  

And you also participate in your own equation and creation as the whole.  

Self awareness is part of self love and I feel we need to be the change we desire and take responsibility for our energy and space so we can return to our power within. 

Energetically we’re being pushed to step out of our comfort zones and do the work as the energy of now brings into our awareness any aspect of our existence that we’ve ignored or unattended. 

This energy especially over our Aries-Chiron New Moon is kinda acting as an initiator helping us take the steps into these fresh new patterns of living. 

Really the time now is all about rest, self discovery and landing the spirit back in the body…

I’m also feeling a lot of overall recovery in the field from addictions of those re-connecting with Soul. 

This may include a lot of grieving about what is gone or is changing. 

Just remember to shed whatever tells you that go can’t create what is really true for you. 

You were always meant to grow and receive what is truly aligned for you at heart. 

Take the leap when the alignment shows up. 

What do you actually want to receive?

The answer isn’t a verb or a version of normal you have seen so far.  It’s not going to feel like anything else you have ever experienced.  

Again, you may have to shake things up and disrupt the old routines like I mentioned previously in emails. 

Keep surrendering what isn’t working and keep slowing down and noticing.

You can release your fears and flow more. 

You can loosen your grip and surrender more. 

You are not the same person you once were. 

Actually we are no longer living in the same world that any of us grew up in. 

The energy of our world and the energetic grid connecting us all, has changed.

We have changed. We are seeing from the heart field more than ever, as a collective. 

What was covered up is now unveiled. 

Whatever isn’t real, truthful, isn’t in right-power or authentic—its walk is so visible now. 

Ask yourself: 

What contracts have I made that are too small for me now? 

Or what early psychological bargains and soul compromises did I make at one point to be loved and to be accepted that have expired? 

Which of my repetitive patterns and futile struggles are dead in the water?

Like I was mentioning last week, now IS the perfect time for conscious cord cutting…that which is outdated. 

Old ways of thinking. That paradigm or comfort zone no longer working.  

Who and what needs to stay in your life has been revealed to you.  

There is no more room for that which is not in alignment any longer, and you might be surprised at how well your boundaries are holding up around what may have been previously tippy-toed about.

If you cling to what isn’t meant to stay, these coming eclipses in April and May will act as catalysts to remove what can no longer be part of your journey back home to yourself.

Withdrawn from your old patterns, creations, positions and roles and safeties, your authentic truth awaits to be *lived* by you, yet only through your new aligned being and actions. So, be open right now…

Things get bumpy when we grip so tight, so loosen up to allow what needs to die away on its own so that you can see from a new place. Have faith. 

It takes time and patience to move into a new way of being. Make small, consistent actions and changes through trust, faith and believing in yourself. 

Know the greater forces of life are also at play yet you can’t just pray hard.  

You have to be fully HERE, all the way here and apply intention to how you live through your actions

Life will meet you halfway and show you what you perhaps could not see before. 

Remember it’s all part of you so be devoted to the whole journey. Take baby steps into your alignment. 

No force or shame or mental stuff needed. Focus on the light you are excavating.  

Your own loving self awareness, self revelation and light grounded is needed more than ever!

As you and I heal in layers, the planet heals. 

The world needs you, sister. You matter, brother.  

You make a difference every moment you own and live your light now regardless of the past.  

Please remember how powerful you are even during the death, the messy births or the hardships…  

I’ll say it again:  There’s nothing wrong with you. 

You are not broken or wrong. 

You don’t need to get rid of “trauma” or fix it. You don’t need to keep chasing or “healing.”

You more simply need to come to know yourself in every part—as life itself.  

To soak IN your awareness in all these “parts” of you. 

Even when a trigger shows up, you turn toward it like you would an innocent child. You be its guardian and you learn new openings

You learn how to hold trauma like you would a conscious parent, pausing and holding a sobbing child, instead of subconsciously having the wound running you.  

Because fully visible in the light of your awareness, drenched in your devoted attention, the wound no longer pulls or controls you.  

You’re also no longer trying to waste your sacred energy prowess into trying to get rid of something. 

You are instead allowing and learning how to truly live.  

To create in the craziest dark, learning your own magic, what turns your soul ON and keeping your focus here…

And “healing” happens on its own, when you find yourself regardless of trauma or the past.  

You slowly begin to breathe and remember yourself even during the intensity, the forgotten—the wound. 

You may even, at one point, celebrate it for giving you the depth it gives you; new openings and understanding. 

For showing you the new life these deaths are making room for you…

So beautiful soul, I hope that even through the dark surrender, you embrace the new life waiting for you to initiate.  

I pray and hope you recognize how loved you are no matter what is coming undone or coming together. 

Even through the discomfort, watering your seeds. 

Using the storm as fuel, finding your flow anyway. 

It’s time to make the moves you must make to get into alignment with the truth that rings through you.  

Take care of yourself and (protect) your innocence.

True love is coming home to our own innocence and being its guardian, which I feel is a core understanding of our soul’s journey.  

It’s crazy how our innocence (like our children) is what is most harvested, manipulated, tricked, exploited and taken advantage of in our world. 

A world that has gone mad exalting seduction, entitlement and consumption as the queen, along with her king of pretense, predation and deceit.

Really, it’s up to each of us to discern what is false and return to our innocence in order to regain sanity in a world that is inverted and aiming to harvest our innocence (soul) for its food.  

We must come back to a pure innocence that is joyfully free in being…fully wild and authentic. 

“No need to be crowned because it is the crown itself.”

This is self-remembrance.

This is your real power and freedom within. 

The joy inside the sound of the simplest play or laughter…

The giggling as snowflakes melt on your nose, as the sun rays kiss your face or as wonder fills your path ahead…

This is where your resilience is, your deepest renewal and strength lives. 

This is where your heart is most alive…

So know that whatever in life was flipped upside down is coming back into righting itself better than you could ever imagine as you get into alignment with YOU. 

Trust this as you do the work knowing it could be better than you have ever imagined…

Have faith that nothing is happening that you can’t handle.

You’re not just slipping through the cracks but falling into new openings…

Know that whatever brought you to your knees—that crazy, remarkable or sudden event…

That truth. That thing, that situation, that person, that time of hardship and unwellness. 

That time of falling in and out of love, that intense phase or vortex of feeling lost or dead.  

That death that stopped your clocks, shaking your world up where nothing feels the same anymore… 

Know it’s not “wrong or bad.”

You are not wrong or bad. 

Whatever stopped life in its own tracks…

Please also recognize that it also thrusted you forward into life-changing new openings.

Recognize and honor it.  

You are not just falling through the cracks coming undone, you are truly standing upon the precipice of new life and openings. 

Be with it, explore it all curiously. 

Just maybe, we’re not always meant to immediately ‘rise up’ from our descent…

Perhaps we’re meant to stay a while on the ground as we listen to the wisdom of the soil…

Listening to our own deepest authenticity and stripped to-the-bone honesty. 

Just maybe, we’re meant to remain sobered up and humbled by the tender uncertainty of this life…

Awake to the humiliating intensity of simply being human…

Heart-alive and cracked open.  

Maybe that’s where the goldest treasure lies? 

In surrender to being swept up by the wild mystery?

Dancing inside the ecstatic devastation of our broken open hearts? 

Falling and flying all at once.

Dying and being born anew?

So what I’m saying is IT’S OKAY if you’re having a hard time too. 

Remember when I wrote back in Jan how life is asking us to be very strong inside, no matter what is happening outside? 


Know you will rise from a deeper place, if you haven’t already.  

Know you’ll be innocently joyful again. 

Know that all of life is conspiring for you the more that you move from your authenticity and its aligned actions. 

So please take care of yourself, you are worthy of living what you truly want NOW.  

You are also worthy of releasing and purging what isn’t what you want.  

This is a major time of inner work and aligning with what’s to come.

Trust the process. All is happening divinely. 

You are reaching the other side by BEING the recipe. 

We cannot control the macro or other people’s free will.

You can, however, fortify your own wellbeing so that you can respond to situations and the world around you through as much clarity as possible.

Life is asking you to meet “What Is”…

Accepting “what is” while still showing up and participating in the next “right thing” for you to do…

That next right alignment or work that brings you closer to your inner joy and innocence is your answer. 

Spiritual bypassing always pretends a current reality does not exist.  Alchemy acknowledges what is, but then introduces the proper elements for needed change. 

So give yourself whatever you need to break free.  

Emotional intelligence is describing what you long for and owning it instead of focusing on the external or on what others are doing or not doing correctly. 

Focus on you and know you are so powerful regardless of the circumstances you face.  

If you ever feel unchosen by life, choose YOU through being the change.  

There is a lot we can’t control like the macro of the world, the actions or decisions of others or the pace of the unknown unfolding itself into your awareness—but you do have your self agency.

You can observe what is stirring inside you and take aligned action like a repeating call leading you to your freedom. 

The truth out of codependency and attachment and into your union.  

Wrongs can be turned into rights. 

Problems are solvable. 

The broken witnessed whole again.

And the storm always passing.  

Claim all of you, choose you. 

Miraculous things happen not when waiting yet when being our own consistent anchor of love, safety and belonging no matter what we’re going through, doing or facing.

It’s not waiting for “something to happen” or for something to give it to you.  

It’s an activation YOU move from within you..

Over and over again.  

Love you,

Crystal Aryana

Crystal Aryana

About Crystal Aryana


  • Sandra says:

    Your words are truly GOLDEN and filled with sooo much WISDOM, HEALING, LOVE, PEACE, & LIGHT for the world!!! I cried a good cry while reading such DEEP TRUTHS!!! Thank you sooo much for sharing your BEAUTIFUL SOUL and reminding us WE are whole regardless of our circumstances. We are to enjoy this journey called life and return back home to the infinite source of love, light, peace, wisdom, & joy!!! Blessings for ALL!!! Sending you LOTS OF LOVE and GRATITUDE for the work that you do!!! THANK YOU!!!

  • Bia says:

    Hey Crystal
    I had tears flowing through my face as reading this, specially since the concept of resistance as been present in the last days. Since the New Moon I’ve felt a consuming painful death, and only the last 2 days I started to gather the truth to that death. Thank you for this post

  • D says:

    I am happy to know you are still living. Thank you dear. One treatment for the baby crying and not sleeping at night:
    1. Find a red cloth
    2. Put it close to the baby pillow
    Then, you will find baby can sleep and stop crying at night and you can sleep too.
    I do not need to explain the function of this treatment. Just follow it, which is very effective.
    Witch Doctor

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